I was speaking to a friend recently, and our conversation, although initially amiable, was becoming increasingly less sympathetic and connected. My friend kept saying that they had a vision of how a particular situation should be. This friend could see the outcome that they desired. I kept bringing up other points of view and the conversation went nowhere.
Isn’t this how the world finds itself in such a mess much of the time? Some people have a vision or view of how it should be, or was, or will be, and others have a different view. The two don’t meet and we stop really listening. Voices may become louder, and the sense of self-righteousness – me vs. you, ours vs. theirs – gets stronger. Then all we want to do is win, and we have answered the mindfulness question, “Do you want to be right or happy?” in just one way. We think that right makes might, but so do they, and as Gandhi is said to have pointed out, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”
We are living in a time when such ways of being are heightened. What is and will be the result?
When we get locked into our own view, we tend to believe the thoughts we have, and identify with them in a narrow way. The consequences now, and historically, are plain to see. Clinging to our thoughts, blindly believing them, is so deeply ingrained in us that we literally can’t see or experience another way of being.
It can feel like we are perceiving and living from the place in our heads behind our eyes; quite literally it can feel like we are “stuck in our heads.” But it doesn’t end here; thoughts fuel emotions and sensations in the body. These three can form a toxic brew of reactivity.
The spiritual teacher Douglas Harding wrote a book that had the title On Having No Head. There is a clear invitation in some approaches to the Buddha’s mindfulness practice to shift the attention from thoughts in the head to a fuller awareness of sensation within the whole body. We do not deny thoughts, but we are no longer preoccupied with them.
I lived as a volunteer cook for years at a large meditation center. It was a fishbowl way of life. With so many people living and working closely together, lots of different agendas, emotions, and personalities were on display. Sometimes it was wonderful, sometimes tough. There was a sign in one of the halls I would pass often that said, “Got body?” This was a little reminder to come into a fuller sense of being present in an embodied way. When I did this, it made a difference. It still does.
Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, tells of how during the Vietnam War, refugees got on rickety boats and set out onto the open ocean with the hopes of making it to Thailand and safety. It was a perilous journey, and many boats perished in the rough seas. He later found out that on the boats that survived, there was often at least one calm person on board. Many of these calm people had learned to steady their attention by practicing embodied breath awareness. By doing so in the midst of stormy seas, they could watch their own natural human emotions of fear and anxiety come and go, and also hold those of others with more care and spaciousness. Their presence was not only supportive on an emotional level, but also in terms of seeing clearly the conditions around them, and what might need to be done to stay on course, or change course if need be.
A very important teaching of the Buddha is that which in the early language of the Buddha is sati-sampajanna. It means mindfulness and clear comprehension. Practicing embodied mindfulness can help us to drop down and out of the often relentless flow of thoughts and swirling emotions that block our ability to be present, connected, and responsive. In the ensuing calm, we are renewed and can re-engage with thoughts and emotions from an energy and intelligence infused with freshness and care. In challenging, uncertain times we may be asked to find new ways to respond to the ongoing question we face: What is skillful action in this situation? It may be counterintuitive, but getting out of our heads and into embodied awareness may help us live this question in surprising and helpful ways!