Ten Perfections of the Heart

January

Ten Perfections of the Heart – A Year of Practice – Month 1 (1/11/2025) Home Practices: Gratitude & Generosity

Next class: Friday, 2/14/25 – 6:00 – 8:30 PM ET

Click here for a PDF version of the home practices

Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15 -30 minutes per day (more if able). Please practice your meditation in silence. If you use an app, try silence several times a week.
Ajahn Sucitto’s book: Pāramī: Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text. Please read, “Crossing the Floods” starting on page 11-29 & Generosity 31-40. Link here.
Setting A Year Long Intention, Vow, Dedication: Finish writing your year long intention, vow, dedication. (What is my motivation in the Ten Perfections of Heart-A Year of practice? What is my aspiration in life? What is my intention/vow right now?) Then put it someplace where you keep special things. Then, as you go through the year, let it be your compass, your underlying direction, in spite of changing outer circumstances. Let it carry you.
The Paramis-
- Read this list every day: Generosity, Virtue or morality, Renunciation or letting go, Discernment or wisdom, Energy, Patience, Truthfulness, Resolve, Loving-Kindness, Equanimity and Gratitude
- Ask yourself each day, “What is going to take me you out of stress, discontent right now?” Listen for the answer.
- Initially one brings the topic to mind – this is helpful and useful – it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference. Do your best to build in Gratitude & Generosity.
- The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so) Do your best to apply Gratitude & Generosity in the face of opposition.
Gratitude Parami Practices
- Gratitude is appreciation, thankfulness, gratefulness. Gratitude is the capacity to take delight in life, in this moment in being alive! Gratitude is the ability to let ourselves feel joy and wonder. Our life rests on the lives of so many lives.
- Until buddy groups are formed, write down in a journal or word document or say them out loud to yourself. 3 gratitude’s each day. When you know your group from CIMC, Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day. Can be anything.
Generosity Parami Reflections & Practices
- Dana Is the Pali word for generosity or giving. Dana refers specifically to taking delight in giving. To recall acts of generosity is not conceited or egotistical-rather we can use it to see all the choices in the world. To see that we care about ourselves and others to make a skillful choice. We give rather than hold on. We give up rather than hoard. We let go rather than cling. To delight in choices is to delight in goodness.
- Reflections for yourself and to discuss in Buddy Groups before next class:
  - Reflect on your attitudes and beliefs about generosity which were likely conditioned by how generosity was viewed and practices in your family or culture. What are your beliefs about generosity? Do you have beliefs that interfere with being generous and what beliefs interfere with acting on your impulses to be generous? Consider the validity, usefulness of these beliefs.
  - Contemplate the ways that it benefits you to be generous to someone else.
  - Reflect on your attitudes, beliefs & feelings about receiving generosity
- Practices for yourself and to discuss in Buddy Groups before next class:
  - When you have the thought to be generous, simply, do it. Notice what happens next. What feelings arise? What thoughts arise? Then pay attention as you give. What feelings arise? What thoughts arise? Finally, after you have been generous (or after you have not been generous) What feelings arise? What thoughts arise? Try exploring different ways of being generous. (caring, time, energy, service) Explore what is the motivation underlying the moment of generosity? Look in the day for what undermines the motivation.“ Generosity becomes stronger and more delightful the more we engage in it.”-Joseph Goldstein.
    Below Practices (pick at least 2 during this month cartwheels if try all)
  - For 15 minutes a few times each week, try offering respectful attention to everyone you meet or talk to. Take the other person’s point of view. Let the person: in, the zoom room, your home, a friend, your neighbor, roommate, child, partner- be the most important person around. Give your full attention to them physically. Put your device(s) away. Look at the person. Listen carefully. Open your heart. Be there without pushing an agenda. Simply Listening.
  - During this month find an occasion where you can bring food (e.g. a nice snack) to share with people who would not expect you to bring food. Notice what effect your gift has on these people. Also notice how it affects you to have done this.
  - During this month find an occasion where you can give something anonymously to a person you have some direct contact with. Be mindful of what you are feeling as you are considering this act, while you are doing it, after it is done.
  - During this month look for an opportunity where you want to do something generous that feels like a challenge or a stretch for you to do. Act on your wish and explore what you feel and think before, during, and after doing it.

HAVE FUN!

Agreed upon Guidelines for Yearlong Program. Practicing the ways below, together, every month can support us in our everyday lives thru noticing our immediate reactions. Remembering that we have an opportunity to pause, check in, & choose how we respond.
- Show up. Pay Attention. Speak your truth without blame or judgment. Let go of outcome and be open to outcome.
- All perspectives are welcome here. Notice your reaction to what is shared and have that be your practice in that moment.
- Everything we do here is voluntary. It is a courageous & generous act to share. It is a compassionate & generous act to deeply listen.
- Speak about what’s alive for you in this moment from your heart, your own experience, refrain from intellectual or philosophical sharing or long story telling, notice if may be judging or blaming another’s perspective. Is it possible to talk from a place of kindness and love?
- Notice what arises as you speak. Are we in touch with what is true and alive or we wanting to impress, to feel important, to be liked?
- Listen deeply; notice what arises within you as you listen. Where do we go when someone says something we agree with? When we hear something that triggers us?
- Please be lean of expression, meaning be mindful to stay on point vs. going tangential. We are a large group, and it would be good to hear from as many voices as possible. WAIT “Why Am I Talking?” Waist?
- If you’ve already spoken, think twice before choosing to speak again as it would be good to hear from those who have not yet
- Please refrain from offering advice unless it is specifically solicited or unless you ask the person’s permission.
- Please honor confidentiality. If you need to share with others out-side of this circle, please share from your own direct experience not that of other members in the sangha.-community
- The next three were added from the workshop:
  - Trust your heart that we all have the capacity to work these guidelines and paramis.
  - Non-Harming yourself or others with the words you are expressing
  - Pause before you speak

February

Ten Perfections of the Heart – A Year of Practice – Month 2 (2/17/25) Home Practices: Virtue- Non Harming

Next class: Friday, 3/14/25 6:00 – 8:30pm ET

Click here for a PDF version of the home practices

Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day (more if able). Please practice your meditation in silence. If you use an app- try silence several times a week.
Ajahn Sucitto’s book, Pāramī : Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text. Please read, “Crossing the Floods” starting on page 40-45 & 50-53. Link here.
Review your year long Intention, Vow, Dedication
The Paramis- Read this list every day: Generosity, Virtue or morality, Renunciation or letting go, Discernment or wisdom, Energy, Patience, Truthfulness, Resolve, Loving-Kindness, Equanimity and Gratitude.
- Ask yourself each day, “What is going to take me you out of stress, discontent right now?” Listen for the answer
- Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful and useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference. Do your best to build in Virtue- non-harming
- The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so) Do your best to apply Virtue- non-harming in the face of opposition
Gratitude Parami Practice: Text or email your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day.
Integrity the Second Parami: Precepts And Reflections & Practices
- Sila Is the Pali word for integrity, ethical conduct, non-harming. Non-harming is a distinguishing characteristic of the Dharma. We are invited to do non-harm through wise speech, wise action, and wise livelihood. We resolve to act in wholesome, skillful ways, consciously choosing to refrain from behaviors that cause fear, confusion, suffering. Instead acting in ways that promote goodness in general. On wise livelihood, Buddha said: “These five trades should not be taken up: trading in weapons, living beings, meat, intoxicants, poisons.” It also includes where we occupy our minds. The guidelines, precepts include wise action & wise speech. Take the precepts weekly or daily. The precepts are:
- Knowing the interwoven nature of our lives:
  - I undertake the commitment to refrain from harming living beings and to protect the well-being of all AND to practice compassionate actions.
  - I undertake the commitment to refrain from taking that which is not freely given AND to practice generosity. I undertake the commitment to refrain from sexual misconduct AND to respect all beings.
  - I undertake the commitment to refrain from false and harmful speech AND to be truthful, honest, kind and skillful in my speech.
  - I undertake the commitment to refrain from taking substances that lead to heedlessness AND to treasure the clarity of my own body and mind.

In early Buddhist teachings these commitments are referred to as the 5 gifts we offer to ourselves. They are the gifts each of us can offer to the world. *** (Larry Yang info at end)

Reflections for you and to discuss in Buddy Groups before next class:

Our attitudes towards ethics and virtue are often conditioned by how ethics was viewed and practiced in the family, the culture we grew up in. Spend some time considering how you may have been influenced by this conditioning. What are the formative influences that shaped your relationship to ethics? What ethical training and teachings did you receive growing up?
When in your life do feel you were most ethical and when do you think you were least ethical? What personal and social conditions existed that encouraged you to be ethical or unethical? What important lessons did you learn from times you were most ethical or most unethical?
Which ethical virtues are strongest in you? Which are weakest for you? Create a list-To help, here is a list of some ethical virtues: compassion, caring, generosity, truthfulness, honesty, integrity, service, gratitude, unselfishness, justice, and morality.
Spend time considering the ways you & others benefit when you are ethical.

Practices for you and to discuss in Buddy Groups before next class:

The first precept, to refrain from harming living beings and to practice compassionate actions: Spend 5 days with a heightened commitment not to be involved in harming other living beings, including insects and to practice compassionate actions. After 5 days, reflect on how hard or easy it was to adhere to this commitment. How were you affected by living with greater than usual concern for the first precept? How important is the first precept for you? If you ever feel justified in not following the first precept, what justification do you use? What were compassionate actions did you engage in?
The second precept, to refrain from taking what’s not given and to practice generosity: Spend 5 days with a heightened commitment to not taking what is not given and to practice generosity. Be careful not to take anything which has not been offered to you in explicit or in clear, implicit terms. What do you learn about yourself when you follow this precept? How can you follow this precept so it helps you be more peaceful? How did you practice generosity?
The third precept, to refrain from causing harm with your sexuality and to respect all beings.: Dedicate yourself to 5 days, to not cause any, even minor harm with your sexuality. Follow this precept as it relates to increasing your respect of others and to not taking what is not given. If you are not sexually active, how can you view your relationship to your sexual or non- sexual nature so as not to harm yourself?
The fourth precept, to refrain from false speech and harmful speech and to be truthful, honest, kind and skillful in my speech. Spend 5 days committed to being as impeccable as possible with speaking the truth and using honest, kind and skillful speech. Don’t talk authoritatively about things you are not sure are true. Avoid exaggerating or pretending things are other than how they are. Don’t speak the truth lightly if it is going to hurt someone. What were your biggest challenges in being truthful? How did you benefit from being truthful? Honest? Kind? Skillful in you speech?
The fifth precept, to refrain from taking intoxicants that cloud the mind and cause heedlessness and to treasure the clarity of your own body and mind: If you drink alcohol or take recreational drugs, commit yourself to not consuming either for a period of 5 days and to find ways to treasure the clarity of your own body and mind:. What challenges does this avoidance have for you? What does this period of time of not drinking or taking drugs teach you about what motivates your use of drugs or alcohol? What ways did you treasure your mind and body? How does it benefit you and others when you don’t consume drugs or alcohol?
If you don’t normally drink or consume alcohol, follow this precept by avoiding some activity, such as watching television or binging or surfing the internet, which you might do to avoid being present with your life.

Below are some extra thoughts from Joseph Goldstein that you can use if helpful for you.

**Some additional instructions:

Consider how you might re-define each precept
What is your attitude when you are abiding or refraining?
What attitude arises when you slip up?
After a skillful or unskillful act, what thoughts or emotions linger?
What are positive aspects of non-harming with each precept?
Ask yourself what are you trying to escape from when indulging?
When resistance arises, what is the attitude in the mind?

**As you go from the habit of breaking the precepts to the habit of honoring them consider:

What ramifications arise from this new habit?
What benefits are you seeing as you refrain from acts of harm to yourself & others?
What gratification and joy, or sorrow and remorse, do you notice as you do or don’t follow your new intentions?

**Reflecting at the end of the day

Have I done anything that caused harm?
Have I done anything that was helpful?
Was there a time where I almost harmed but stopped myself?

***Larry Yang’s Integrity: When there is less or zero external accountability in our larger culture, there emerges an indispensable spiritual imperative to redouble our internal efforts and concentration to have a moral barometer: this is the Integrity of Mindfulness—to be of benefit to our collective humanness, not simply to our personal being.
Remember “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” Let’s broaden the scope of integrity:

Integrity is doing the wise and compassionate action when no one agrees with us.
Integrity is walking our highest path, even if it is painful, arduous & long.
Integrity is acting on behalf of others when we do not have to because we have some benefit, privilege, power, or entitlement that protects us.
Integrity is standing actively (& not “bystanding”) in solidarity with those whose voices & abilities have less volume or impact than yours.
Integrity is being kind when everyone & everything around you is not kind.
Integrity is loving when you do not feel loved yourself.
Integrity is having ethics in unethical & amoral times—having a moral compass when others around you do not have a clue to what that means and/or disparage the very intentions of ethical behavior.
Integrity is placing a higher value on the greater good of all, rather than the gain of an individual or selected individual groups.
Integrity is holding to these principles, even when there are an infinite number of distractions, seductions, & judgments that seek to weaken & obliterate those principles.

March

Ten Perfections of the Heart – A Year of Practice – Month 3 (3/14/25) Home Practices

Parami: Gratitude & Generosity

Next class: Friday, 4/11/25 6:00 – 8:30pm ET

Click here for a PDF of this week’s home practice.

Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day (more if you are able). Please practice your meditation in silence. If you use an app- try silence several times a week.
Gratitude & Renunciation Buddies: Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day.: Also meet either in person, on zoom, or on Facetime, with your buddies once this month. Share what you learned about
Ajahn Sucitto’s Pāramī: Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text. Please read pages 55-70. Link here.
Renunciation – Nekkhamma (pali word for renunciation)
- Is not getting rid of the things of the world, but accepting that they pass away. The only choice is to let go. The truth of impermanence teaches us that no matter how desperately we hold on to anything, it is already in the process of leaving us. Our choice is whether or not we suffer in the unavoidable arrivals, departures, beginnings & endings in our lives.
- Great Tips: Reframing deprivation as non- addiction. Saying no thanks- not now, indicates we have a choice– or like Tulku Urgen said, we can practice Renunciation for short moments, that is within our power-so we cultivate the habit of Renunciation for short moments, many times- that becomes a more wholesome & doable habit.
Recollect Parami Practice-
- Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful and useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference.
  Do your best to build in renunciation this month.
- The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so)
  Do your best to apply Renunciation in the face of opposition.
- Continue the parami of generosity giving & receiving.
- Continue the parami of non-harming
Renunciation Reflections & Practices: lots of ways listed, practice what you can
- Reflections:
  1. What are your concerns and views about the value of renunciation? What reservations & fears do you have about the practice of renunciation? What is attractive to you about this practice? In what ways do you understand renunciation differently than the practice of letting go?
  2. In what areas of your life could you benefit from practicing renunciation? What motivations or impulses would renunciation help to overcome in those areas? What motivations & understandings would make renunciation easier? Write down a list of all ways you might benefit from renouncing particular things. (bring to class in April)
  3. Under what circumstances is it difficult for you to let go of things you want to let go of? In what circumstances is it easiest? What inner states of being support skillful letting go? What inner states make it difficult?
  4. What would be the single most useful thing for you to let go of?

- Renunciation Practices:**scroll down for ideas from class too**
  1. Look for an instance when you are strongly clinging to something. Spend some time observing & reflecting on the clinging. Don’t try to let go. Rather take the time to get to know as much as you can about the clinging.
  2. Choose something you do regularly to renounce for a day. Throughout that day, investigate & consider how this renunciation might benefit you. Does the act of renouncing help highlight things about yourself that you had not seen before?
  3. Find situations where you can give something up out of compassion or concern for others. What is it like for you to give something up when it is motivated by compassion?

** And below are some extra thoughts shared in class from Joseph Goldstein that you can use if helpful for you. Look at habit of trying to maintain pleasant moments & avoid unpleasant one-The Buddha said “as long as there is attachment to the pleasant & aversion to the unpleasant liberation is impossible”- see it not as giving up addiction to pleasure– more on the playing field of freedom…Ahh here is where freedom lies–choosing happiness, choosing freedom.

What are our compelling familiar habits?
Explore the habits- Which are skillful? Which are not serving us? Which habits might be up for some letting go
Investigate further: What is the mind state from which each habit arises?
Once we have seen the power our habits have over us, we can gently begin letting go of the unskillful ones. When you have an impulse, try not following it. Ask yourself if there could be a way of doing it differently or of not doing it. Practice letting go of a moment’s desire, then watch closely for what arises, what happens next.
How do you feel in the moment when the habit of craving slips away? This can be a very rich, very revealing opportunity to see the power of the wanting mind & feel the relief of its release.

HAVE FUN!

April

Ten Perfections of the Heart – A Year of Practice – Month 4 (4/11/25) Home Practices

Parami: Wisdom

Next class: Friday 5/9/25

Click here for a PDF of this week’s home practice.

Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day (more if you are able). Please practice your meditation in silence.
Gratitude & Wisdom Buddies: Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day: Also meet in person, zoom, Facetime, text, e-mail with your buddies once a week or once this month. Share what you learned re: wisdom
Ajahn Sucitto’s Pāramī: Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text. Please read pages 73-91. The chapter is” Innate Clarity”
**Recollect Parami Practice- **
- Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful and useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference. Do your best to build in Wisdom this month.
- The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so) Do your best to apply Wisdom in the face of opposition.
- Continue the parami of Generosity: giving & receiving.
- Continue the parami of Non-harming
- Continue the parami of Renunciation-

New Home Practices STARTS HERE

Wisdom: Buddhism is a wisdom tradition. Wisdom is about how we free our minds from suffering. Wisdom refers to the ability to discern carefully & follow the clearest course of action based on knowledge, experience, and understanding.
- Recollect: Wisdom arises from practice; Without practice it is lost.
- Knowing these two ways of gain & loss
- Conduct yourself so that wisdom grows. –Dhammapada 282

This tradition refers to 3 kinds of Wisdom

1) Learning: studying the teachings
2) Reflection: contemplate & ponder themes & questions
3) Meditation: Understanding arises from seeing deeply into the nature of our experiences. The 3 universal characteristics: all are impermanent, (impermanent) none are satisfactory refuges of lasting happiness, (imperfect) no experience can qualify as a stable, solid self. (impersonal) Meeting & knowing these 3 characteristics, wisdom grows. Understanding that suffering comes from resisting the constant flow of experience. (clinging, resisting, claiming, identifying)

Wisdom Reflections & Practices &Tips:
Reflections: Please discuss these reflections with your Dharma buddies
Asking questions: an important foundation of wisdom. Please spend some time coming up with questions about your formal or daily life practices. This week, write down as many of these questions as possible. Then spend a couple days during the following week narrowing the list to 5 that seem most important to you. Finally the next week spend a day or two considering what might be the single most important question. Discuss it with your buddies-
Think about who are the wisest people you know. What makes them wise? What qualities of wisdom do you admire in them? How do they behave that manifests wisdom? Under what circumstances do you have access to wisdom? Under what circumstances do you have some of the same qualities as the wise people you know?
What is wisdom for you? How is it different from knowledge? How do you think a person acquires wisdom? What facilitates access to wisdom?

Wisdom Practices: scroll down for ideas from class too

Wisdom is often called discriminating wisdom when it helps us see more clearly the details of our experiences & the choices that we have. In your meditation, look more carefully at your experience, see if you can make more distinctions with what is happening. Instead of following your breath look carefully to notice the details of the breathing. Or notice the mood or mind state you are in & distinguish the physical, mental, emotional aspects of the mood. If something is uncomfortable, take an interest in looking at the distinct aspects of what is happening. As you make clear distinctions, can you translate it into a wiser understanding of what is happening?
The intentions we have for our practice are supported by wisdom when our discernment shows us how to best follow through on those intentions. During some sessions of meditation & daily life situations set your intention to become calmer & more easeful. With that as an intention, try to avoid doing the things that make you less calm. Instead, do the things that help you become increasingly calmer. Later, reflect on how having this intention helped you to be more discerning and wiser.
Read a passage from a Dharma book a couple of times in the day. After reading it, reflect on what you have read. Each time, consider how the teachings in the passage can be helpful to you. If it feels skillful, memorize that passage or a simple Dharma phrase. Say it to yourself several times a day for the next month. An example: “Anything can happen at any time”

Tips (JG)

Pause, ask yourself: “What do I understand here?” Let wisdom come to you.
Explore your life-thoughts, emotions, actions, speech- Ask: “What do I need to see clearly in this situation?” Or “What is creating suffering in this situation?”What is behind it? Underneath it? What is driving it?
Investigating Impermanence: Look at examples in your life?
How is Impermanence present in this moment of clinging-craving?
When & where are your views conditioned by a sense of permanence?
When there is understanding- Ask: What is creating happiness? What is behind- underneath, driving it?
Investigating the unsatisfying unreliability of all phenomena: –arises & passes
When stuck-Ask-what is the attitude in the mind that causes suffering? Examples-Planning mind-planning is an extension of self in the future-A Gentle reminder-not now & not never, wisdom sees that it’s not skillful – planning is not bad- just not helpful right now.
Pausing-listen-not just first answer- go deeper-Ask: “What else do I have going on in my mind now that might not be true?”
Investigating selflessness-
Ask “What am I identified with here?”
Look at moments when we label what is happening as “me”, “mine”, “I VS others”
Notice your speech. Catch “self”-ing during the day”., “I am tired, I am angry, I am hurt, I am lonely, I am sad, I am angry, I am right” Be aware, I am ….. is wrong view –taking the above emotions to be self- rather than being with what it is.

HAVE FUN!

Watching My Friend Pretend Her Heart Is Not Breaking
On Earth, just a teaspoon of neutron star
would weigh six billion tons. Six billion tons
equals the collective weight of every animal
on earth. Including the insects. Times three.

Six billion tons sounds impossible
until I consider how it is to swallow grief—
just a teaspoon and one might as well have consumed
a neutron star. How dense it is,
how it carries inside it the memory of collapse.
How difficult it is to move then.
How impossible to believe that anything
could lift that weight.

There are many reasons to treat each other
with great tenderness. One is
the sheer miracle that we are here together
on a planet surrounded by dying stars.
One is that we cannot see what
anyone else has swallowed.

Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer