Homework

(Note: next class will be on 7/7/22)

1. Sitting: For a minimum of 10-30 minutes per day. Practice Listening Meditation
(like we did in class)

2. Practice Gratitude: Text or e-mail your “practice buddies” 3 things you are grateful for each day. They can be anything. Please also share with your “practice buddies” one thing you learned about Mindfulness of intention, Speaking with a friendly heart & Wise Listening.

3. Please reflect: Wise speech asks us to speak & listen with Awareness-Thich Nhat Hanh
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech & the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech & deep listening in order to bring joy & happiness to others & relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am determined to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, & hope. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain & will not criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I am determined to make efforts to reconcile & resolve all conflicts, however small.

4. Spend these weeks devoted to listening to others more carefully than you usually do. Stay connected to the body as you listen. What do you notice? Recall why we have 2 ears ☺

a) Remember: Deep Listening involves listening, from a deep, receptive, caring place in oneself, to deeper & often subtler levels of meaning & intention in the other person. It is listening that is generous, empathic, supportive, accurate, & trusting. Trust here does not imply agreement, but the trust that whatever others say, regardless of how skillful or unskillful it is said, comes from something true in their experience. Deep Listening is an ongoing practice of suspending self-oriented, reactive thinking & opening one’s awareness to the unknown & unexpected.
b) Practice listening after someone has stopped speaking. Listen to the silence. Or let the receptivity with which you listened become an additional occasion to notice what is happening within yourself or with the person to whom you are listening. Such a pause—even a ten second pause—gives you time to digest what was said. It is also a time to discover what you want to say before you actually say it. Such self-awareness can protect you from saying things you later regret. The pause may also give others a chance to discover what is going on in their own minds and bodies.

5. Mindfulness of Intention: Before we speak an impulse arises in the mind. Embedded within the impulse is either the roots of skillful speech that condition happiness or roots of careless-ness that condition suffering. The key factor in the impulse is our intention-Our motivation. With careful attention we can we can begin to pull up the roots of carelessness, disrespect, self-interest & water or feed the roots of wakefulness, kindness, love, caring, and generosity.
a) During the next two weeks, Notice why you say what you say. What motivations are behind what you say & don’t say? Notice the strength of your impulses to speak. What affects the strength of this impulse? When you are mindful of your motivation & impulses to speak, how does this affect what you say?
b) When you know you will be speaking to someone, prepare yourself by reflecting on what intentions you might want for the conversation. How does a conversation unfold if you have reflected and set an intention beforehand?
c) During as many of your conversations as you can, practice “pausing & relaxing” before you speak. Don’t rush in to contribute to a conversation. Take a moment to pause & be at ease before you speak. Notice how this affects what you say & how you say it.

6. ***The Quick Test is to ask ourselves: Is it true? Is it kind?, Is it beneficial? Does it harm anyone? Is this the right time tor place to say something? ***

7. We train our inner & outer speech in order to create harmony, trust & safety in all our relationships -we can also investigate what we say & how we say it. The Buddha came up with 5 conditions to help us in this exploration. Let’s investigate the 1st one.

a) During the next 2 explore “Speaking with a friendly heart”: We are more likely to be heard speaking with love, care, respect as your foundation when we connect with others. Continue pausing before you speak so you can see your intention. So that we do not speak in a way that causes division, Remember, all speech motivated by love & compassion is considered wise speech. Notice, choosing sides in interpersonal conflicts is a habit that rarely resolves the conflict. And speaking about reconciliation or in harmony producing ways can encourage letting go of strong opinions & judgments. If you don’t speak the judgments-Try to feel them in the body & let them arise & pass away- Notice that if you can do that, there is less reverberation or residue in the heart &-mind. Once we speak the judgments, they often solidify & are harder to let go.

8. Jot down a few things you learned and maybe a question or two about practicing with Wise speech and wise listening. Please bring it to class.

Have Fun! Sending Love & Virtual Hugs!

Remember-Wise Speech & Wise Listening is a mindfulness practice. By undertaking this practice, we commit to greater awareness of our body, heart, mind, thoughts, and emotions.
Do your best to be gentle, kind & easeful as you explore.

1. Sitting: For a minimum of 10-30 minutes per day. Do your best! Keep your meditation simple —no apps for at least 3 days a week, just silence.
2. Practice Gratitude: Text your “practice buddies” 3 things you are grateful for each day. They can be anything. Please also share with your “practice buddy or buddies” one thing about talking or listening that you noticed or explored each day.

3. Pause meditation: Each day, many times a day, before you speak
Simply Pause for ten seconds
• Simply stop doing & talking
• Shift into relaxation. Soften muscles anywhere you feel tension (in shoulders, jaw, around the eyes, belly)
• Notice how the body feels
• Feel your feet on the floor
• Float the question: What is happening right now?
• Listen to what the question brings to you. Listen to the answer, As best you can avoid judging, or acting or reacting. (stay connected with your feet on the floor or whole body. This may help you stay balanced) Pay attention as if listening to body. Inhabit the body
• Listen for the answer & let it go. Let it be or let it go & rest within the body

4. Inner Dialogue & Listening Deeply: Continue to get to know your inner dialogue.

5. Mindful Speech-paying attention to your own speech, body, heart, mind:
• As you begin your day, set the clear intention to be mindful of those moments you speak to yourself & set the clear intention to be mindful of those moments where you are communicating with others.
• Do your best to: keep your attention anchored in your body as you speak. Notice how this affects your speech. Bring awareness to one of these places: your face, throat, lips & eyes, belly, heart area, hands or feet when you are speaking. (Remember it is a practice- Titrate from a specific place in your body to speaking and back & forth) Notice what happens in those areas before, during & after you speak. Sense the physical changes in your body as the conversation takes place. Ask yourself what the messages you are receiving. How do they make you feel inside?

6. Mindful Listening is an intentional act. “Listen from your heart” and/or your body when others are talking to you: Mindful Listening is connected to our desires, emotions, attitudes, values & preferences. Is it possible to stay connected within the body (hands, feet, heart) and listen? (Remember it is a practice- titrate from a specific place in your body to listening) Do your best to stay connected to your heart or your body when people are talking to you. Whole-heartedly listen to what the person is saying.
Because of all these connections, it can be helpful to use the questions below to reflect on and help explore your listening. In different situations, you may have different answers to these questions. The answers may point to how to listen more attentively, with greater wisdom. Mindful listening is a great way to cultivate greater Mindfulness in daily life. Listening is always a present moment activity; when we listen we are present.
• What purpose motivates your listening?
• What concerns & desires influence your listening?
• Are there emotions influencing what you hear?
• How interested & attentive are you to what you’re listening to?
• When someone is speaking, how much are you listening to the person & how much are you engaged in your own thoughts?
• What expectations do you have when you listen?

Have Fun! Can you be like Pooh and Piglet? Sending Love & Virtual Hugs!

Wise Speech and Wise Listening is a mindfulness practice. By undertaking this practice, we commit to greater awareness of our body, heart, mind, thoughts and emotions. Do your best to be gentle, kind, and easeful as you explore both.

1. Sitting: For a minimum of 10-30 minutes per day. Do your best! Keep your meditation simple —no apps, just silence.(a few days this week)

2. Practice Gratitude: Text your “practice buddy or buddies ” from the “Buddy Breakout group” 3 things you are grateful for each day. They can be anything. Please also share with your “practice buddies” one thing about talking or listening that you noticed or explored a couple of times this week.

3. Inner Dialogue & Listening Deeply: Get to know your inner dialogue, how you speak/talk to yourself. Is your tendency to be kind, gentle, tender, loving, and patient with yourself? Or is your tendency to be judgmental, unkind, or harsh? How do you listen inwardly to yourself? How do you relate to your inner critic or your inner committee?

4. Be mindful of what you are paying attention to when you speak to others: Are you focused on your words? Do you pay attention to those who you are talking to? How well do you notice your body as you speak? Do your best to: keep your attention anchored in your body as you speak. Notice how this affects your speech.

5. “Listen from your heart” and/or your body when others are talking to you: Do your best to stay connected to your heart or your body when people are talking to you. Whole-heartedly listen to what the person is saying. Is your tendency to be present and listen? Can you connect gently to your body? Can you connect gently with your heart when people are speaking? Is the body, heart, mind open, at ease or constricted? Do you notice being distracted with judgments about what the person is saying? Or comparing yourself, or wanting to offer your opinion or rehearsing or daydreaming or spacing out? What is your relationship to listening?

6. Have FUN!

Larry shared this in class:

Free and Easy: A Spontaneous Vajra Song
by Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche

Happiness can not be found
through great effort and willpower,
but is already present,
in open relaxation and letting go.

Don’t strain yourself,
there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises
in the body-mind
has no real importance at all,
has little reality whatsoever.
Why identify with,
and become attached to it,
passing judgment upon it and ourselves?

Far better to simply
let the entire game happen on its own,
springing up and falling back like waves
without changing or manipulating anything
and notice how everything vanishes and reappears, magically,
again and again, time without end.

Only our searching for happiness
prevents us from seeing it.
It’s like a vivid rainbow which you pursue
without ever catching,
or a dog chasing its own tail.

Although peace and happiness
do not exist as an actual thing or place,
it is always available
and accompanies you every instant.

Don’t believe in the reality of good and bad experiences;
they are like today’s ephemeral weather,
like rainbows in the sky.

Wanting to grasp the ungraspable,
you exhaust yourself in vain.
As soon as you open and relax
this tight fist of grasping,
infinite space is there –
open, inviting and comfortable.

Make use of this spaciousness,
this freedom and natural ease.
Don’t search any further
looking for the great awakened elephant,
who is already resting quietly at home
in front of your own hearth.

Nothing to do or undo,
nothing to force,
nothing to want,
and nothing missing –

Emaho! Marvelous!
Everything happens by itself.

1) Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day. At a time of unpleasant or what seems like uninteresting experience, focus on bringing the quality of patience to it. Notice any resistance to the experience. Mindfully, bring the quality of patient kindness into the experience.

2) Gratitude & Patience: Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day. Also meet in person, zoom, Facetime, text, e-mail with your buddies once a week or once this month. Share what you learned re: Patience & impatience.

3) Ajahn Sucitto’s Pāramī: Ways to Cross Life’s Floods will be our shared text. Please read “Bearing with Life” pp113-130.

4) **Recollect Parami Practice- **
• Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful & useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference. Do your best to build in Patience this month.
• The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so) Do your best to apply Patience in the face of opposition.
a. Continue the parami of Generosity: giving & receiving.
b. Continue the parami of Non-harming
c. Continue the parami of Renunciation
d. Continue the parami of Wisdom
e. Continue the parami of Energy

***New Homework –Starts Here** (Read ALL the HW & do the HW’s that makes sense for you at this time- HAVE FUN)

5) Khanti; Often translated as Patience, endurance, forbearance, forgiveness,
gentleness, kindness, compassion, strength, and constancy
• Patience is the ability to be with things as they are
• What we are practicing here is the mind of letting go.
• Freedom is not simply doing what we want when we want. That is addiction.
• Freedom is the ability to choose wisely.
• Patience is a long enduring heart/mind
• When the mind is calm or tranquil, it is not impatient.

6) Be aware of impatience & patience in your sitting & daily life practice.. Practice patience, practice pausing.
a) Gentle forbearance: When impatience is triggered, can you tap into a deeper reservoir of intention/motivation to do no harm?
b) Calm endurance under hardship: in a frustrating situation, it helps to pause and/or to ask the question, “What would being patient mean right now?
c) Acceptance of the truth– Accepting experience as it is—rather than how we want it to be. Remembering that everything is continually changing and acceptance of “things as they are” can take a long time to evolve. It is skillful to develop a long-enduring heart.

7) Khanti: Reflections & Practices: (Learn the happiness of being with what is)
Reflections: (from class)
• Reflect on Gentle Forbearance & Patient Perseverance: What personal obstacles you might have that interfere with gentle forbearance or persevering with a challenging activity. What abilities & understanding do you have that help you to stick with doing something you have committed yourself to?
• Reflect on calm endurance with hardship or under hardship: How do you generally respond to hardship? How do you generally respond to anger & insults directed at you? Under what circumstances are you most reactive to anger toward yourself? What abilities, practices, understandings do you have that helps you to be patient or non-reactive to hardship or anger & insult? What benefits come from being patient or having calm endurance while under hardship or while being insulted?
• Reflect on Forgiveness: what attitudes you have toward forgiveness? Under what circumstances are you willing to forgive someone? When is forgiveness difficult for you? Are there areas in your life where it would be useful to forgive?
• Reflect on the acceptance of truth: Are there things that you are not willing to look at, to be honest about? Are there some things you believe are true that you resist? When can acceptance of the truth help you to be more at ease?
• Ask yourself: What is important in my life? What do I value in this moment? Where is ease & freedom in this moment? Can I pause & stand calmly now?

Practices: Please Share with you Buddies, what you learned. ☺,
1. Track the number of times in a day you experience impatience. What type of circumstances, tend to give rise to impatience for you? Make a list.
2. Expand your attention to what mind states might be associated with impatience, such as restlessness, rushing, frustration, aversion, resistance, non-acceptance.
a) How are these mind states related to impatience? How & when do they arise?
b) Investigate the different degrees & tones of impatience.
Grosser level -Ask, “What is my attitude?” Subtler level watch for what happens in the mind in the exact moment you ask the question? Sometimes, the mind is already shifting from restlessness or aversion as you ask the question. See that you can move out of restlessness, even if it is only a moment. And then restlessness returns.
3. Now we go deeper. Look for how impatience may arise from a choice in your mind, not only because of a specific situation.
a) You can decide to get into mental projections…or not. Watch closely for them & remember, it is not necessary to act on them. Imagine you have a remote control, practice changing the channel.
b) See if you can notice a pattern of particular things that trigger impatience.
Watch for subtleties of impatience. Foe EX, watch for impatience during meditation, it is just a moment of impatience. It is not necessary to act on it.
4. It is also important to investigate the different nuances that arise when you are feeling patience not just impatience.
a) Ask yourself, “What else is present?”
b) Is it patience or resignation? Patience is allowing, enduring, constancy, not resignation.
c) Pay attention to those times when you consciously decide to be patient or when you are just naturally patient. Investigate; get to know, that quality of mind.
d) See if you can catch the movement when patience becomes impatience & when impatience becomes patience.

OR these daily life activities:
5. Choose a task, that you regularly avoid doing or which you often procrastinate about. Engage in the task & stick with it until it is done. When you are done, reflect what that was like.
6. If you become angry, do your best to not do or say anything out of anger. What happens inside of you when you hold your anger in check? What do you have to do in order to keep your anger in check? What are the benefits & disadvantages of this?
7. Choose one person, you are angry or irritated with, or who you feel hurt by. Reflect on what it would take for you to be able to forgive this person. (Don’t use your most difficult person)

HAVE FUN SENDING LOVE & VIRTUAL HUGS

1) Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day.
2) Gratitude & Energy: Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day. Also meet in person, zoom, Facetime, text, e-mail with your buddies once a week or once this month Share what you learned re: Energy.
3) Ajahn Sucitto’s Pāramī: Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text.
Please read pages 93-107. (can go to 110 if interested)
4) **Recollect Parami Practice**
• Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful & useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference. Do your best to build in Energy in this month.
• The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so.) Do your best to apply Wisdom in the face of opposition.
a. Continue the parami of Generosity: giving & receiving.
b. Continue the parami of Non-harming
c. Continue the parami of Renunciation
d. Continue the parami of Wisdom

**New Homework –Starts Here** (Read all the HW & do the HW that makes sense for you at this time- HAVE FUN)
5) Viriya -Energy: Often translated as energy-can also be defined as perseverance, strength, courage, vigor & vitality. Viriya- is the willingness to stay with what is. When we use it wisdom grows. The more we use it the stronger it becomes. As we use it, we are developing strength of mind.
The Buddha talked about the 4 great instructions, which call for Viriya.**
• Avoiding or preventing the arising of unwholesome states
• Letting go of unwholesome states that have already arisen.
• Cultivating wholesome states that have already arisen.
• Giving energy to arouse wholesome states that have not yet arisen.
(**scroll to bottom for more info on these)

6) Viriya: Reflections & Practices:
Reflections: (from class)
• Reflect on: How you experience physical vitality? Mental vitality? What makes you feel more energetic? What drains your energy? Does spending time with other people bring you energy or drain your energy? Is spending time alone energizing or not? Is meditation energizing or not? What activities bring you a balanced sense of vitality?
• Reflect on: What is the relationship between your interest & your level of energy? What motivations tend to energize you? What emotions tend to increase or decrease your vitality? How does desire, fear, aversion play in how energized you are? What role does compassion have?
• Reflect on: How do you decide what to apply effort to? Of all the things a person could do, how do you choose where you apply your energy?

Practices: Please Share with you Buddies, what you learned. ☺
1. Begin by exploring distractions
• Investigate all the different times in the day & the different ways you do something that distracts the mind.
• Make a list of these distractions. Look to see if there are habits at work just beneath the surface.
• What is it you are wanting to distract yourself from? Investigate to see how the distraction might be a retreat from boredom or unpleasant body sensations, restlessness or fear.
2. Viriya is meeting the difficulty. Viriya is energized by challenges. It is inspired by difficulties & faces them with courage. Investigate further:
• Begin to notice when in life you tend to retreat from difficulties.
• What would it look like to meet a common moment of suffering with Viriya?
• Challenge yourself to play outside of your comfort zone.
• Pay particular attention to the quality of your effort. This is a powerful force that needs a gentle touch.
3. Go deeper. When resistance arises as you work with viriya, use the moment as an opportunity to more deeply investigate the nature & power of resistance.
In your formal meditation, Spend time experimenting with applying more effort in formal meditation. This can be done physically by sitting up straighter or by doing brisk walking meditation before sitting. It can be done mentally by putting more effort into being alert & mindful of what is happening during the meditation. If applying more effort agitates you, try to match the increased effort with increased calm or inner stillness.
4. During the next month, consciously do a couple of generous & compassionate activities, notice your energy level before, during, & after doing these things. What affects the amount of energy you have for these activities? How can you can you appropriately apply more energy in these activities?
5. Choose some ordinary household chores you often do. Give your full attention to doing them. Engage in these activities with your whole body. Turn off technology phone, TV, etc & In same way you might let go of distracting thoughts to return to the breath in meditation, let go of distracting thoughts that take you away from being present for your chores. How does working in this way affect your energy level?

(**scroll- HERE IT IS: – For the next 4 weeks, spend 15 minutes each week focused on one of the 4 energy-efforts, doing a different one each day. In this way, you are doing something that makes you stretch and is worthwhile. This strengthens the heart & mind. Use your energy wisely- Instead of adding more things to get done, deepen the quality of what you put into your actions. Most importantly…HAVE FUN

Avoiding Unskillful States – The energy, effort to avoid the unskillful, unwholesome, states of our bodies, hearts, & minds that have not arisen. Wise avoidance is not aversion or rejection but the recognition that not all experiences in life are conducive to our well-being. We may be faced with overt conflicts in our lives yet we appreciate that there are times when habit takes us to places that are far from where we wish to be. Habits can be ways we wear down our inner well-being. Habits like-judgment, fantasy, obsession cloud our capacity for trust, wholeness. We learn wise avoidance in understanding that those paths do not offer understanding or well-being. We are invited to turn toward our lives and explore where we are fostering pathways of sorrow and where the pathways of happiness lie.

Letting go of Unskillful States – The energy, effort to learn to release ourselves from the confusing, unskillful, unwholesome states that drive us into separation, confusion, complexity in our hearts/minds. Greed, anger, hatred, jealousy, obsessions, struggles, divisions are to be released because they lead to further sorrow, fear, conflict. We learn not to judge ourselves, but instead to explore & engage & embrace them gently in our body, heart, mind, life. With kind, attention & tenderness they will be transformed.

Cultivating a Heart & Mind of Wisdom – The energy, effort to foster, nurture, enhance the skillful, beautiful, wholesome qualities of our being that are present within our heart & mind. Calmness, patience, generosity, gratitude, loving kindness & compassion arise and we learn to be intimate with them. How do we experience them in the mind & body? How do they change our perception of & relationship to people, events, ourselves?

Awakening the Dormant Qualities within – The energy, effort to encourage, inspire, cultivate the healing, beautiful, wise qualities of heart, mind that lie dormant within us. It is wise energy, effort that gently nudges those seeds from dormancy into life. (In the midst of our impatience in a traffic jam, or on line at the store, we surprise ourselves by cultivating kindness. Turning away from a homeless person asking for money – we pause and remember compassion. In moments when we feel confused-we remember we have the capacity to listen, find connectedness.) We remind ourselves of calm, ease, are possible and we cultivate them.

1. Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day. (more if you are able) Please practice your meditation in silence.
2. Gratitude & Wisdom Buddies:Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day.: Also meet in person, zoom, Facetime, text, e-mail with your buddies once a week or once this month Share what you learned re: wisdom
3. Ajahn Sucitto’s Pāramī : Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text. Please read pages 73-87. (can go to 91 if interested)
4. **Recollect Parami Practice- **
   • Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful and useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference. Do your best to build in Wisdom this month.
   • The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so) Do your best to apply Wisdom in the face of opposition.
   • Continue the parami of Generosity: giving & receiving.
   • Continue the parami of Non-harming
   • Continue the parami of Renunciation-***New Homework  STARTS HERE**
   
5. Wisdom: Buddhism is a wisdom tradition. Wisdom is about how we free our minds from suffering. Wisdom refers to the ability to discern carefully & follow the clearest course of action based on knowledge, experience, understanding.
   Recollect: Wisdom arises from practice; Without practice it is lost.
   Knowing these two ways of gain & loss,
   Conduct yourself so that wisdom grows.    –Dhammapada 282
             This tradition refers to 3 kinds of Wisdom
   1) Learning: studying the teachings
   2) Reflection: contemplate & ponder themes & questions
   3) Meditation: Understanding arises from seeing deeply into the nature of our experiences. The 3 universal characteristics: all are impermanent, none are satisfactory refuges of lasting happiness, no experience can qualify as a stable, solid self. Meeting & knowing these 3 characteristics, wisdom grows. Understanding that suffering comes from resisting the constant flow of experience.(not clinging, resisting, claiming, identifying)
6. Wisdom Reflections & Practices &Tips:
   
   Reflections: Please discuss these reflections with your Dharma buddies
   a) Asking questions: an important foundation of wisdom. Please spend some time coming up with questions about your formal or daily life practices. This week, write down as many of these questions as possible. Then spend a couple days during the following week narrowing the list to 5 that seem most important to you. Finally the next week spend a day or two considering what might be the single most important question. Discuss it with your buddies-
   b) Think about who are the wisest people you know. What makes them wise? What qualities of wisdom do you admire in them? How do they behave that manifests wisdom? Under what circumstances do you have access to wisdom? Under what circumstances do you have access to some of the same qualities as the wise people you know?
   c) What is wisdom for you? How is it different from knowledge? How do you think a person acquires wisdom? What facilitates access to wisdom?Wisdom Practices: **scroll down for ideas from class too**
   a) Wisdom is often called discriminating wisdom when it helps us see more clearly the details of our experiences & the choices that we have. In your meditation, look more carefully at your experience, see if you can make more distinctions with what is happening. Instead of following your breath look carefully to notice the details of the breathing. Or notice the mood or state you are in & distinguish the physical, mental, emotional aspects of the mood. If something is uncomfortable, take an interest in looking at the distinct aspects of what is happening. As you make clear distinctions, can you translate it into a wiser understanding of what is happening?
   b) The intentions we have for our practice are supported by wisdom when our discernment shows us how to best follow through on those intentions. During some sessions of meditation & daily life situations set your intention to become more calm & easeful. With that as an intention, try to avoid doing the things that make you less calm & instead, do the things that help you become increasingly calmer. Later, reflect on how having this intention helped you to be more discerning & wise.
   c) Read a passage from a Dharma book a couple of times in the day. After reading it, reflect on what you have read. Each time consider, how the teachings of the passage can be helpful to you. If it feels skillful, memorize that passage or a simple Dharma phrase. Say it to yourself several times a day for the next month. Example: “Anything can happen at any time”

**Tips ** (JG)

• Pause, ask yourself: “What do I understand here?” Let wisdom come to you.
• Explore your life-thoughts, emotions, actions, speech- Ask: “What do I need to see clearly in this situation?” Or “What is creating suffering in this situation?” What is behind it? What is driving it?
  Investigating Impermanence::Look at examples in your life?
• How is Impermanence present in this moment of clinging-craving?
• When & where are our views conditioned by a sense of permanence?
• When there is understanding-Ask: What is creating happiness? What is behind- driving it?
  Investigating the unsatisfying unreliability of all phenomena-arises& passes
• When stuck-Ask-what is the attitude in the mind that causes suffering? EX-Planning mind-planning is an extension of self in the future-A Gentle reminder-not now-, wisdom sees that it’s not skillful – Not that planning is bad- just not helpful now.
• Pausing-listen-not just first answer- go deeper-Ask: “What else do I have going on in my mind now that might not be true?”
  Investigating selflessness-
• Ask “What am I identified with here?”
• Look at moments when we label what is happening as” me”, “mine”, “I vs others”
• Notice your speech. Catch “self-ing during the day”., “I am tired, I am angry, I am hurt, I am lonely, I am sad, I am right ” Be aware, I am ….. is wrong view –taking the above emotions to be self- rather than being what it is.

HAVE FUN!

1) Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day. (more if you are able) Please practice your meditation in silence.
2) Gratitude & Renunciation Buddies: Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day.: Also meet in person, zoom, Facetime, text, e-mail with your buddies once a week or once this month Share what you learned about renunciation.
3) Ajahn Sucitto’s Pāramī : Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text. Please read pages 55-70.

4) Renunciation –
• Is not getting rid of the things of the world, but accepting that they pass away. The only choice is to let go. The truth of impermanence teaches us that no matter how desperately we hold on to anything, it is already in the process of leaving us. Our choice is whether or not we suffer in the unavoidable arrivals, departures, beginnings & endings in our lives.
• Great Tips: Reframing deprivation as non- addiction. Saying no thanks- not now, indicates we have a choice- or like Tulku Urgen said, we can practice Renunciation for short moments, that is within our power-so we cultivate the habit of Renunciation for short moments, many times- that becomes a more wholesome & doable habit.
5) Recollect Parami Practice-
• Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful and useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference.
Do your best to build in renunciation this month.
• The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so)
Do your best to apply Renunciation in the face of opposition.
• Continue the parami of generosity giving & receiving.
• Continue the parami of non-harming

6) Renunciation Reflections & Practices: lots of ways listed, practice what you can
Reflections:
1. What are your concerns and views about the value of renunciation? What reservations & fears do you have about the practice of renunciation? What is attractive to you about this practice? In what ways do you understand renunciation differently than the practice of letting go?
2. In what areas of your life could you benefit from practicing renunciation? What motivations or impulses would renunciation help to overcome in those areas? What motivations & understandings would make renunciation easier? Write down a list of all ways you might benefit from renouncing particular things.
3. Under what circumstances is it difficult for you to let go of things you want to let go of? In what circumstances is it easiest? What inner states of being support skillful letting go? What inner states make it difficult?
4. What would be the single most useful thing for you to let go of?

Renunciation Practices: **scroll down for ideas from class too**
1. Look for an instance when you are strongly clinging to something. Spend some time observing and reflecting on the clinging. Don’t try to let go. Rather take the time to get to know as much as you can about the clinging.
2. Choose something you do regularly to renounce for a day. Throughout that day, investigate & consider how this renunciation might benefit you. Does the act of renouncing help highlight things about yourself that you had not seen before?
3. Find situations where you can give something up out of compassion or concern for others. What is it like for you to give something up when it is motivated by compassion?

** And below are some extra thoughts shared in class from Joseph Goldstein that you can use if helpful for you. Look at habit of trying to maintain pleasant moments & avoid unpleasant one-Buddha said “as long as there is attachment to the pleasant & aversion to the unpleasant liberation is impossible”- see it not as giving up addiction to pleasure- more on the playing field of freedom-…Ahh here is where freedom lies.-choosing happiness, choosing freedom

1. What are our compelling familiar habits?
2. Explore the habits- Which are skillful? Which are not serving us? Which habits might be up for some letting go
3. Investigate further: What is the mind state from which each habit arises?
4. Once we have seen the power our habits have over us, we can gently begin letting go of the unskillful ones. When you have an impulse, try not following it. Ask yourself if there could be a way of doing it differently or of not doing it. Practice letting go of a moment’s desire, then watch closely for what arises, what happens next.
5. How do you feel in the moment when the habit of craving slips away? This can be a very rich, very revealing opportunity to see the power of the wanting mind & feel the relief of its release.

HAVE FUN!

Parami Homework: Gratitude & Generosity –Next class, Friday-3/11/22
1) Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day. (more if you are able) Please practice your meditation in silence.

2) Gratitude Practice: Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day. Can be anything

3) Ajahn Sucitto’s Pāramī : Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text. Please read page 40-42 and 50-53.

4) Recollect Parami Practice-
• Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful and useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference. Do your best to build in non-harming this month.
• The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so) Do your best to apply non-harming in the face of opposition.
• Continue the parami of generosity giving & receiving.

5) Virtue Parami Reflections & Practices
Reflections:
• When in your life do feel you were most ethical & when do you think you were least ethical? What personal & social conditions existed that encouraged you to be ethical or unethical? What important lessons did you learn from times you were most ethical or most unethical?
• Which ethical virtues are strongest in you? Which are weakest for you? Create a list-To help, here is a list of some ethical virtues: compassion, caring, generosity, truthfulness, honesty, integrity, service, gratitude, unselfishness, justice, and morality.
• Spend time considering the ways you & others benefit when you are ethical.

Practices: Read the precepts everyday. Practice non-harming.
**scroll down for ideas from class too**
• Text, e-mail or zoom with your buddies. Share what you learned about non-harming.
• For a week, start with the precept which is hardest for you. Then the following week Take on one precept each day. The last week, do your best to take them all on-See what you learn.
1. Refrain from killing living beings & to practice compassionate action,
2. Refrain from stealing (taking that which is not given) & to practice generosity,
3. Refrain from harmful misuse of sexuality or using sexual energies unwisely or uncaringly & to practice responsibility in all my relationships,
4. Refrain from harmful speech (lying, false, hurtful) & to practice kind speech,
5. Refrain from the misuse of alcohol & drugs & to practice caring for the body and mind.

Very important to read the attachment in e-mail (or below) for more details about each precept & possible questions to explore. And below are some extra thoughts that I shared in class from Joseph Goldstein that you can use if helpful for you.

**Some additional instructions:
1. Consider how you might re-define each precept
2. What is your attitude when you are abiding or refraining?
3. What attitude arises when you slip up?
4. After a skillful or unskillful act, what thoughts or emotions linger?
5. What are positive aspects of non-harming with each precept?
6. Ask yourself what are you trying to escape from when indulging?
7. When resistance arises, what is the attitude in the mind?

**As you go from the habit of breaking the precepts to the habit of honoring them consider:
• What ramifications arise from this new habit?
• What benefits are you seeing as you refrain from acts of harm to yourself & others?
• What gratification and joy, or sorrow and remorse, do you notice as you do or don’t follow your new intentions?

**Reflecting at the end of the day
• Have I done anything that caused harm?
• Have I done anything that was helpful?
• Was there a time where I almost harmed but stopped myself?

HAVE FUN!

EXTRA: Practice Precepts (some tips about refraining & non-harming)

1. The first precept, to refrain from harming living beings:
Spend time with a heightened commitment to not harm any other living beings, including insects. Each day, reflect on how hard or easy it was to adhere to this commitment. How were you affected by living with greater than usual concern for the first precept? How important is the first precept for you? If you ever feel justified in not following the first precept, what justification do you use?

2. The second precept, to refrain from taking what’s not given: Spend time with a heightened commitment to not taking what is not given. Be very careful not to take anything that has not been offered to you explicitly or in clear, implicit terms. What do you learn about yourself when you follow this precept strictly? How can you follow this precept so it helps you be more easeful? peaceful?

3. The third precept, to refrain from causing harm with your sexuality: Dedicate yourself to not cause any, even minor harm or disrespect with your sexuality. Follow this precept as it relates to increasing your respect of others and to not taking what is not given. If you are not sexually active, how can you view your relationship to your sexual or non-sexual nature so as not to harm yourself?

4. The fourth precept, to refrain from lying, false, harmful speech: Spend time committed to being as impeccable as possible with speaking the truth. Don’t talk authoritatively about things you are not sure are true. Avoid exaggerating or pretending things are other than how they are. With this practice don’t speak the truth lightly if it is going to hurt someone. What were your biggest challenges in being truthful? How did you benefit from being truthful?

5. The fifth precept, to refrain from taking intoxicants that cloud the mind and cause heedlessness: If you drink alcohol or take recreational drugs, commit yourself to not consuming either for at least a couple of days. If that is impossible, choose a shorter time period that is significant for you. (Prescribed medications are obviously important to continue to take) What challenges does this avoidance have for you? What does this period of time of not drinking or taking drugs teach you about what motivates your use of drugs and alcohol? How does it benefit you and others when you don’t consume drugs or alcohol? If you don’t normally drink or consume recreational drugs, follow this precept by avoiding some activity, such as binging TV, Streaming or YouTube, surfing the internet, FB, Twitter, Instagram, which you might do to avoid being present with your life.

Parami Homework: Gratitude & Generosity – Next class, Friday, February 11

1) Sit every day. Try sitting for a minimum of 15-30 minutes per day. (more if you are able) Please practice your meditation in silence.

2) Onward Leaning: Looking at what is wholesome, beneficial, skillful in our lives & what is not. We ask ourselves, are our lives leading onward in any way? (whole-some, beneficial, skillful) We also need to find the line between being impeccable & being rigid, so that we cultivate our understanding with a light heart.

3) Ajahn Sucitto’s book, Pāramī : Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, will be our shared text. Please read, “Crossing the Floods” starting on page 11-29 & Generosity 31-40. Link here (the book will be mailed to you).

4) The Paramis-
• Ask yourself each day, “What is going to take me you out of stress, discontent right now?” Listen for the answer
• Initially one brings the topic to mind-this is helpful and useful-it means that the parami gets built-in as a frame of reference. Do your best to build in Gratitude & Generosity.
• The gathering stage is when you apply the parami in the face of its opposition. (Something in you doesn’t want to bother, other people don’t see the point, not convenient to do so.) Do your best to apply Gratitude & Generosity in the face of opposition.

5) Gratitude Parami Practices
• Text or e-mail your buddies 3 things you are grateful for each day. Can be anything.
• Thank someone every day

6) Generosity Parami Reflections & Practices
Reflections:
• What beliefs do you have that interfere with being generous & what beliefs interfere with acting on your impulses to be generous? Consider the validity, usefulness of these beliefs.
• Contemplate the ways that it benefits you to be generous to someone else.
• Reflect on your attitudes, beliefs & feelings about receiving generosity
Practices:
• For 1/2 hour each day, try offering respectful attention to everyone you meet or talk to. Take the other person’s point of view. Let the person: in, the zoom room, your home, a friend, your neighbor, roommate, child, partner- be the most important person around. Give your full attention to them physically. Put your device(s) away. Look at the person. Listen carefully. Open your heart. Be there without pushing an agenda. Simply Listening.
• When you have the thought to be generous, simply, do it. Notice what happens next. What feelings arise? What thoughts arise? Then pay attention as you give. What feelings arise? What thoughts arise? Finally, after you have been generous (or after you have not been generous) investigate. What feelings arise? What thoughts arise? Try exploring different ways of being generous. (caring, time, energy, service) Explore what is the motivation underlying the moment of generosity? Look in the day for what undermines the motivation.“ Generosity becomes stronger and more delightful the more we engage in it.”-Joseph Goldstein.
• Text or e-mail your buddies. Share what you learned about generosity. Only a sentence or two.

HAVE FUN!

There were two items the dharma requested in today’s gathering:

Ajahn Sucitto’s Dharma Seed Talk Link

2018-07-25 The Practice of Inclusivity 54:19

Betty Burkes’s words from today:

As I sat down to write some thoughts to share with you this morning, I opened the following message from Thich Nhat Hahn in my mailbox:

“Touching the Earth, I let go of my idea that I am this body and my life span is limited. I see that this body, made up of the four elements, is not really me and I am not limited by this body. I am part of a stream of life of spiritual and blood ancestors that for thousands of years has been flowing into the present and flows on for thousands of years into the future. I am one with my ancestors; I am one with all people and all species, whether they are peaceful and fearless, or suffering and afraid. At this very moment I am present everywhere on this planet. I am also present in the past and in the future. I have gone beyond the idea I am a body that is separated in space and time from all other  forms of life.”

The synchronicity of receiving this Present Moment Awareness reflection from Thich Nhat Hahn while preparing for today on the Practice of Inclusivity from Ajahn Sucitto felt like an affirmation.   Listening to Sucitto opened a door for me to see how we are not all that has happened to us or what we have suppressed and that entering the present moment is a powerful form of liberation.

The Present Moment Practice is embedded in cultures from India to Indigenous America. It’s integral to devout practitioners of Buddhism, most religions, yoga, and martial arts worldwide and has been integrated into our mental health and medical care services.

“Return to the Present Moment” is a common instruction for practicing mindfulness in the traditions of Western Buddhism, “the awareness that rises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” in the words of Jon Kabat Zinn, the master of mindfulness .

Essentially it’s a call to Pay Attention so we can experience the Present Moment. Bringing one’s  attention to Now, this moment beginning with 10 seconds, then 20, 30 and on.

But Present Moment attention isn’t the goal, it’s  preparation for what’s to come! like a dance, a seduction. Creating the right conditions for Awareness to reside.   It’s the necessary condition  to root the practice of awareness,  the goal of paying attention and the experience of Mindfulness

Ajahn Sucitto teaches  four phases of mindfulness all of which are part of  being present in this moment: Pay Attention, Widen and Soften, Meet what Arises, Let it all In.  It is a training for learning how the mind creates suffering for itself and how not to create suffering and is in relationship to the four Noble Truths.

The first phase is Paying Attention.

Paying Attention, “Heightens your awareness of the immediate present experience without attempting to change it. Tune into the steadying effect of that absence of reactivity. Feel how your body is when that quality helps you to settle; and when that feels adequate and comfortable, and as it feels suitable, sense how your breathing feels. Above all, hold your attention on the aspect of the body that allows you to feel more comfortably settled.”

Comparing  attention to awareness, the Buddha emphasized the importance of discernment which is important for those of us who tend to try to do it ‘right.’ You will experience that there is no right, there is only wise attention and bare awareness.

He used the example of a cowherd, the person who cares for the herd of cows, who, when the crop is ripe, must watch the cows closely to make sure they don’t go into the fields. However, once the crop is harvested, the cowherd can relax his attention and watch over the cows from a distance.” We notice in this story, the cowherd doesn’t stop paying attention, but they loosen the grip of attending and widen their gaze.

Ajahn Sucitto underscores this element of discernment with the next part of the teaching.

Widen and Soften  – phase 2

“Relax the intensity of the focus, and also any ideas of getting somewhere, or searching for an experience, or trying to change anything. Let yourself be fully receptive to how it actually is. If the experience is pleasant, absorb into it. If it is difficult, step back and rest in the wider field of awareness. Get a feel for the awareness that your experience of your body/ breathing arises within – and let things change in their own time.”

Cultivating the ability to step back, to soften and watch the mind is essential. in the pause of widening, opening and resting in a non judgemental attitude is transformational.

Next we Meet What Arises– phase 3

“You may notice changes in your breathing, or unpleasant experiences in your body. Alternatively, subtle pleasure may arise. Have an attitude of meeting these phenomena with an open invitation, no judgment, rather than pushing through them, hanging onto them, or wondering what to do next. You may feel hesitant or fascinated by what you meet in this open awareness in terms of attitude. Acknowledge any of these, and rather than thinking about them, notice them as qualities of the mind rather than identifying with them or trying to understand them” Here we might include other people, paying attention to them.  Meet what they are experiencing. Widen and soften, include it all,

This instruction is reminiscent of Rumi’s poem —

The Guest House

​This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
​A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
​The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
​Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

​Include It All   phase 4

The practice of inclusivity, “refers to continuing this process of unfolding, widening, softening as other phenomena arise. Beginning to recognize how many boundaries there are to cross, marked by fear, jealousy, trauma, exclusion, to meet it all.  All is changing as awareness deepens to become more grounded to include all that mindfulness can manage to include.”

Taking on a larger significance, including other people, we meet what they are experiencing. Meet what arises, and trust what happens with that.  Meet the boundaries marked by anger, ignorance, and greed, with no changing or fixing, just meeting the pain at this place of inclusion. So beautiful and transformative to just be at the place of meeting, not fixing, just sitting in the presence of grounded awareness and see what arises. Sometimes if we touch the phenomena we meet in this awareness practice, it is simply released.

There is a unity that includes all within the relational field of connecting.

We meet what arises on this Path and we strive to live with integrity and balance, because awareness isn’t biased and does not shut things out.

Both Ajahn Sucitto and Thich Nhat Hahn remind us:

“Life is available only in the present moment.”
We are the Presence in the present moment.
If  we are attentive, if we pay attention, we will see it.

Soften, Open to a  Wide Awareness
Meet what Arises
And Let us All In!!

May it Be So

Questions to consider in small groups

What enables you to be truly present?

Of the 4 parts of this reflection – Pay Attention, Widen and Soften, Meet what Arises, Let it All In, where do you feel most adept? Most challenged?

How does your meditation practice enable you, through being present, to connect to other aspects of your Relational Life?

1. Link to The Graduated Path by Ajahn Sucitto:
https://ajahnsucitto.org/articles/the-graduated-path/

2. Link for The Future of American Buddhism:
https://fredericklenzfoundation.org/events/2022-the-future-of-american-buddhism/

3. “Black Buddhists and the Black Radical Tradition” by Rima Vesly-Flad:
https://nyupress.org/9781479810499/black-buddhists-and-the-black-radical-tradition/

Elder Drop-in – November 2021

Talk:  Vulnerability – both personal and planetary and how they’re linked

At personal level: we may feel vulnerability around our body, health, a diagnosis

Emotional vulnerability: anxiety, fear of unknown, anger, helplessness, etc.

Topic inspired by 2 recent events: 1st, friend’s participation in Indigenous

People’s 5-day action in front of the White House

2nd: Small circle of 5 — three of them hit suddenly with unexpected vulnerability

Story of dharma friend joined the Indigenous People’s 5-day action

He was immersed in their culture

Even w. dire climate situation, their values, way of life, very inspiring, hopeful

Their commitment to live life in balance — with oneself, others, and nature

Not a protest! Call themselves “Earth defenders,” “water protectors,” etc.

Not an adversarial view but protective, imbued with the sacred feminine

Their sacred outlook: see everything as sacred. The sky is sacred, the water is sacred, earth is sacred, you are, I am, all beings are sacred

Sacred outlook also central in Tibetan tradition – a gift to remind us the importance of “view” — our outlook, our commitment to practices that strengthen and inspire us.

2nd impetus for this talk:  how three of five fellow practitioners, in our long time circle, had been hit w. serious physical pain:

Raised the issue of our vulnerability–  Related topics that arose:

1) Pain: the most demanding teacher: spawns anxiety, confusion, dark moods. What an inevitable part of our practice it is

2) Exploring our capacities to receive

3) The theme of helplessness: one of the hardest bec. of our wish for independence, attachment to our life as it was.

Story about helplessness. At a New Year’s retreat with my husband Hob

He was already in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s

I was keenly aware of our shared feelings of helplessness

Randomly opened Rumi’s poetry for a New Year’s message

Message: “Always check your inner state with the lord of your heart.

Copper doesn’t know it’s copper, until it’s turned to gold.

Your loving doesn’t know its majesty, until it knows its helplessness.”

No one wants the experience of helplessness, but!

Rumi – mystic and poet saint – links our helplessness to loving – ourselves,

others, our life, the world

Love is the only answer when the going gets tough.

How do personal experiences of vulnerability relate to our planet?

Her vulnerability everywhere: extreme weather, floods, wildfires, etc.

Joanna Macy. environmental activist, author, scholar of Buddhism, general systems theory, and deep ecology. Known for her Grief and Empowerment work

In her 90’s, she is a prophet for our times.

Story she tells as part of an interview w. Thanissara Bikkhu

(Joanna and Thanissara starts at 1:12:30

Climate Day 2021 – Part 1 – Thanissara and Konda Mason 10/2/2021 )

On retreat, dark vision of planetary crises arose but then a voice with a powerful message:

The voice: “Just fall in love with what is.”

Joanna’s inspiring response follows: She rejoices at being alive for these times

See the gifts — gifts of our lives, our breath, of our love

Grateful to be alive for the earth; Do something beautiful with your life

Finally, how to respond to vulnerability – personal and planetary?

Practice! How awareness practice and living in balance w.mindfulness and sacred attention creates resilience.

Call to mind/heart someone who embodies resilience, a way shower for you

Invitation: at beginning of day, choose 3 things that will bring you joy.

Words of an indigenous elder:

“While accepting collapse as inevitable and trying to find my place in remediating it, I do my best to be mindful in the moment, and often look up at the night sky to thank the stars for keepings things in perspective”  

Homework:

1) bring awareness & acceptance to your feelings of vulnerability

Also can invoke resilience; breathe in resilience from someone who abounds in it

2) What does living your life in balance mean to you and how might you have

more balance.

Here is the link to the Elders Google Group that some of our people use to connect with each other, share ideas and resources: https://groups.google.com/g/cimcelders

Homework:  be especially open to wonder in your life.

Also especially aware of the mind’s ups/downs, remembering the power of awareness and to come home to the love that can hold what’s difficult.

Notes – Reflections on Wonder and Grief:

Three central themes of elder years:  loss, letting go, and grieving

An ongoing process of discernment, decisions, comfort with the unknown.

Howard Thurman: my first spiritual teacher

Dean of Marsh Chapel at B.U., Founder of the Church for Fellowship of all People’s, one of 10 most outstanding preachers in the US.

Boyhood story: Lost in the woods in the dark. Suddenly a very bright, sustained    flash of lightning showed him exactly which of many paths was his.

“You see,” he said, “however much light others may have on their lives, only the light on my way has any value for me.”

Story: archetypal and metaphor for us: We come to these crossroads as elders;

Stop (as Howard did when lost in the woods.) Listen within. Finding our way, finding what lights our way.

Relying on practice; the call to deep, inner listening.

 “Adrift” by Mark Nepo

“Everything is beautiful and I am so sad.

This is how the heart makes a duet

Of wonder and grief.”

…

In the very center, under it all – what we have that no one can take away and all that we’ve lost face each other.

It is there that I’m adrift, feeling punctured

by a holiness that exists inside everything.

I am so sad and everything is beautiful.”

The duet in the heart – the polarity between all that we have that no one can take away and all that we’ve lost – these two things face each other.

Adrift, but still “feeling punctured by a holiness that exists inside everything.”

This duet of wonder and grief: how do you experience it?

Our practice creates steadiness, resilience that carries us thru

 Message from a dying friend, a dharma teacher still imparting wisdom even though very near the end of this life.

“The invitation to mystery is always being offered to us.

Being open to this mystery makes it happen more often;

Allows it to display itself more often….

It’s as if the beauty and mystery of the universe

Wants to be appreciated so it can evoke the mystery in ourselves.”

Conclusion: Howard’s words to my mother after her brother’s death, words for all of us:

“Be sure to keep in touch with yourself just now,” he told her, “so that Life’s resources can inform you. Of all the people who love you, be sure you love yourself the most; Life can’t love you more than you love yourself. You are the door through which love can enter.”

Whenever you feel challenged, call to mind one of the images from today’s talk: either the gold used to repair broken pottery as in the Japanese art of Kintsugi, or the image of the two yellow iris growing up through the shattered glass — symbol of hope, beauty, wholeness.

Trust the transformative process — slow and gradual — of your meditation practice, and of mindfulness practice throughout the day. Our practice is the gold that helps to transform our brokenness and challenges.
Keep recommitting to your practice, refreshing it with each sitting, and beyond

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” —Leonard Cohen in his poem/song “Anthem.”

Hello Sangha Friends,

It has been devastating few weeks, with one mass shooting happening right after another. It can seem we are caught in a neverending cycle of violence, trauma and grief. Please join us in offering karuna and metta to the victims of this violence, their family members, and all those impacted.

This Sunday June 12th from 5-7 PM is the next monthly meeting of the CIMC White Awake Sangha. We’ll use our time together to investigate our response to the most recent act of white supremacist terrorism: an attack on a supermarket in a largely Black neighborhood of Buffalo, New York – one of the worst racist massacres in recent American history.

We’ll honor and mourn those who were killed, reading their names aloud. We’ll hold space to explore our own bodily and emotional responses to the shooting – including possible feelings of grief, numbness, anger, and guilt – and we’ll engage in embodied practices to nurture and reset our nervous systems. Finally, we’ll spend some time identifying and connecting to the inspiration, courage, and resources we need to re-commit to our engagement in anti-racist action.

We’ll be working with the following prompts, which we invite you to reflect on in advance of our meeting:

• Recalling when you first heard or saw news about the Buffalo shooting, what sensations, impulses, emotions or images arise in your body? Does your body want to fight, flee, freeze or submit (play dead)? Is there a movement or sound your body would like to make that might help you discharge some of this trauma energy?
• Who or what inspires you in the work of uprooting racism and white supremacy? This might be a mentor, a benefactor, an ancestor, or anyone you look up to or whose story motivates you in this work.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness, and no registration is required (zoom link below). Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

Warmly,

Alex, Beilah, Ben, Gina, Sherry, and Valerie

This month we’ll kick off our new, collaborative facilitation model. We’ll be working with the following questions in breakout groups:

• Why is antiracism essential to your Buddhist practice?
• What would it mean to move towards equity and inclusion at CIMC using the power of the dharma?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

This month we’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with the RIGHT TO COMFORT and its antidotes (described at the end of the email). As this is the last characteristic in our year-long investigation, we’ll also continue discussing the question of what’s next for the WA Sangha? We’ll talk about potential changes to the structure of the group, to make it more egalitarian, engaged, and responsive to the needs of WA Sangha members and the CIMC community.

We will discuss the following questions in breakout groups:
• How has the Right to Comfort shown up in your life and world this month? As you think about the ways that the Right to Comfort has shown up for you – or about the idea of the Right to Comfort in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to the Right to Comfort (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?
• What do you value about gathering with other white folks to examine race and white supremacy? What directions would you like to see the White Awake Sangha take in the future? What roles would you like to play in this transformation?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

*********

As described by Tema Oken, the characteristic of the Right to Comfort is related to two others we’ve worked with in prior WAS meetings: Fear of Open Conflict and Power Hoarding. Tema explains that “these characteristics focus on our cultural assumption that I or we (or the ones in formal and informal power) have a right to comfort, which means we cannot tolerate conflict, particularly open conflict. This assumption supports the tendency to blame the person or group causing discomfort or conflict rather than addressing the issues being named.”

Right to Comfort in white supremacy culture shows up as:
• The belief that those with power have a right to emotional and psychological comfort (another aspect of valuing ‘logic’ over emotion);
• Scapegoating those who cause discomfort, for example, targeting and isolating those who name racism rather than addressing the actual racism that is being named;
• Demanding, requiring, expecting apologies or other forms of “I didn’t mean it” when faced with accusations of colluding with racism;
• Feeling entitled to name what is and isn’t racism;
• White people (or those with dominant identities) equating individual acts of unfairness with systemic racism (or other forms of oppression).

Antidotes to Right to Comfort include:
• Understand that discomfort is at the root of all growth and learning;
• Welcome discomfort and learn to sit with discomfort before responding or acting;
• Deepen your political analysis of racism and oppression so you have a strong understanding of how your personal experience and feelings fit into a larger picture;
• Avoid taking take everything personally;
• Welcome honest and hard feedback as the gift it is, knowing that people could so easily choose to stay silent and talk about you behind your back rather than gift you with their truth about how your attitudes and/or behavior are causing a problem;
• When you have a different point of view, seek to understand what you’re being told and assume there is a good reason for what is being said; seek to find and understand that good reason (without labeling the other person);
• Remember that feedback and criticism may be skillful or unskillful and either way, it will not kill you;
• Remember that critical feedback can help you see your conditioning as you learn to separate your conditioning from who you actually are; you need to know your conditioning if you are going to be free; while your conditioning is hazardous, you are not.

This month we’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with OBJECTIVITY and its antidotes (described at the end of the email). As we near the end of this year-long investigation, we’ll also continue discussing the question of what’s next for the WA Sangha? We’ll talk about potential changes to the structure of the group, to make it more egalitarian, engaged, and responsive to the needs of WA Sangha members and the CIMC community.

We will discuss the following questions in breakout groups:
• How has objectivity shown up in your life and world this month? As you think about the ways that objectivity has shown up for you – or about the idea of objectivity in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to objectivity (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?
• What do you value about gathering with other white folks to examine race and white supremacy? What directions would you like to see the White Awake Sangha take in the future? What roles would you like to play in this transformation?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

*********
As described by Tema Oken, objectivity in white supremacy culture shows up as:
• The belief that there is such a thing as being objective or ‘neutral’;
• The belief that emotions are inherently destructive, irrational, and should not play a role in decision-making or group process;
• Assigning value to the “rational” while invalidating and/or shaming the “emotional” when often if not always the “rational” is emotion wrapped up in fancy logic and language;
• Requiring people to think in a linear (logical) fashion and ignoring or invalidating/shaming those who think in other ways;
• Impatience with any thinking that does not appear ‘logical’ or ‘rational’ in ways that reinforce existing power structures; in other words, those in power can be illogical, angry, emotional without being disregarded while those without power must always present from a ‘rational’ position;
• Refusal to acknowledge the ways in which ‘logical’ thinking and/or decision-making is often a cover for personal emotions and/or agendas often based in fear of losing power, face, or comfort;
• Refusal to acknowledge the ways in which objectivity is used to protect power and the status quo.

Antidotes to objectivity include:
• Realize that everybody has a world view and world view affects the way we understand the world;
• Realize this is true for you too; you are not “objective,” you are steeped in your own world view and if it is the dominant world view, realize how that world view includes the belief that it has the capacity to be objective;
• Support yourself and your group to sit with discomfort when people are expressing themselves in ways which are not familiar to you;
• Support yourself and your group to sit with discomfort when people are sharing points of view or lived experiences that are not familiar to you;
• Understand that emotional intelligence is real and valuable; work to become more emotionally intelligent;
• Assume that everybody has a good reason for what they are feeling and your job is to understand that reason and how it connects to their position, particularly if you are the one with more formal or informal power;
• Ask yourself and/or the group what a situation might look like from the point of view of those not present; better yet, develop authentic relationships with those whose world view and/or experience could and will inform your world view;
• Engage in the simple act of using “I” statements, which leads us to claim our own experience rather than generalizing from our experience in ways that can exclude those who have a different experience or perspective;
• Get curious about sources of information and stories, both to insure that those who are often overlooked as sources get lifted up and recognized and also to insure that those who claim credit are grounded in lived experience and social justice values.

We’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with PROGRESS IS BIGGER/ MORE and its antidotes (described at the end of the email). As we near the end of this year-long investigation, we’ll also discuss the question of what’s next for the WA Sangha? We’ll present and discuss the results of our recent survey to the WA Sangha. We’ll also talk about potential changes to the structure of the group, to make it more egalitarian, engaged, and responsive to the needs of WA Sangha members and the CIMC community.

In addition, we will discuss the following questions in breakout groups:
• How has progress is bigger/more shown up in your life and world this month? As you think about the ways that progress is bigger/more has shown up for you – or about the idea of progress is bigger/more in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to progress is bigger/more (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?
• What do you value about gathering with other white folks to examine race and white supremacy? What directions would you like to see the White Awake Sangha take in the future? What roles would you like to play in this transformation?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

***********
As described by Tema Oken, Progress is bigger/more is linked to another characteristic of white supremacy culture quantity over quality (which our sangha explored back in May.) These characteristics explore our cultural assumption that the goal is always to be/do/get more and be/do/get bigger. This leads to an emphasis on what we can “objectively” measure – how well we are doing at being/doing/getting more – as more valuable than the quality of our relationships to all living beings.

Progress is bigger/more in white supremacy culture shows up as:
• How we define success (success is always bigger, more);
• An organization that assumes the goal is to grow – add staff, add projects, or serve more people regardless of how well they can serve them; raise more money, or gain more influence and power for its own sake – all without regard to the organization’s mission or especially the people and/or living beings that the organization is in relationship with;
• Gives no value, not even negative value, to its cost; for example, increased accountability to funders as the budget grows in ways that leave those served exploited, excluded, or underserved as we focus on how many we are serving instead of quality of service or values created by the ways in which we serve;
• Little or no ability to consider the cost of growth in social, emotional, psychic, embodied, spiritual, and financial realms;
• A narrow focus on numbers (financial, people, geography, power) without an ability to value processes (relationships), including cost to the human and natural environment;
• Valuing those who have “progressed” over those who “have not” – where progress is measured in degrees, grades, money, power, status, material belongings – in ways that erase lived experience and wisdom/knowledge that is invisibilized – tending, cleaning, feeding, nurturing, caring for, raising up, supporting;
• Focus on getting bigger (in size, transactional power, numbers) leading to little or no ability to consider the cost of getting big in social, emotional, psychic, embodied, spiritual, and financial realms.

Antidotes to Progress is bigger/more include:
• Honoring the ancient Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) philosophy that the decisions we make today should result in a sustainable world seven generations into the future;
• Ensure that any cost/benefit analysis includes all the costs, not just the financial ones, for example the cost in morale, the cost in credibility, the cost in relationship to living beings, the cost in the use of resources;
• Include process goals in your planning, for example make sure that your goals speak to how you want to do your work, not just what you want to do;
• Ask those you work with and for to establish goals and evaluate performance holistically; for one example, set both content and process goals (what you do and how you do it) aligned with the values of the organization and/or community;
• Distinguish between growth, which is necessary and organic, and the conditioned desire for “more” – more stuff, more transactional power, more people, more … for its own sake;
• Consider adding measures that keep you grounded in what’s important. How many times did we laugh together today? How many times did we express gratitude? How many times did we allow silence? How many times did we allow dissent?

This month, we’ll be working in an embodied way with I’M THE ONLY ONE and its antidotes (described at the end of the email). There will be time for discussion about this aspect of white supremacy culture, how it feels in our bodies, and how it manifests in our societal norms.

In addition, we will discuss the following questions in breakout groups:
• How has feeling I’m the only one shown up in your life and world this month? As you think about the ways that I’m the only one has shown up for you – or about the idea of I’m the only one in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to I’m the only one (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

Think about individuals (including yourself) and organizations where you see I’m the only one manifesting, including how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or in your other community, faith or civic groups.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

*****

I’m the only one in white supremacy culture shows up as:
• An aspect of individualism, the belief that if something is going to get done “right,” ‘I’ have to do it;
• Connected to the characteristic of “one right way,” the belief that “I” can determine the right way, am entitled and/or qualified to do so, in isolation from and without accountability to those most impacted by how I define the right way;
• Little or no ability to delegate work to others, micro-management
• Based in deep fear of loss of control, which requires an illusion of control;
• Putting charismatic leaders on pedestals (or positioning yourself as a charismatic leader on a pedestal);
• Romanticizing a leader (or yourself) as the center of a movement, idea, issue, campaign;
• Hiding or covering up the flaws of a leader (or your flaws) in fear that the organization, movement, effort cannot survive;
• Defining leadership as those most in front and most vocal.

Antidotes to I’m the only one (and Individualism*) include:
• Seek to understand all the ways we are informed by our dominant identities and how our membership in dominant identity groups informs us both overtly and covertly (while realizing too that these identities do not have to define us). Understand how membership in a dominant group (the white group, the male group, the hetero group, the wealthy group) extends psychic, spiritual, and emotional benefits as well as material benefits.
• Seek to understand how these benefits are, in reality, toxic, because our complicity with being positioned as both “better” and “normal” requires that we dehumanize all those designated as “less than” and “abnormal.”
• Acknowledge that all white people have internalized racist conditioning and that an anti-racist commitment is not about being “good” or “bad,” it’s about figuring out what we are going to do about our conditioning.
• Do our personal work while also bringing focus to cultural, institutional, and systemic manifestations of white supremacy and racism.
• Name teamwork and collaboration as an important personal and group value. Acknowledge that teamwork and collaboration take more time, particularly at the front end and yield a better result with higher buy-in and higher ability to take shared risks.
• Make sure the group or organization is working towards shared goals that have been collaboratively developed and named.
• Reward people for collaborating.
• Evaluate the ability to work in a team as well as the ability to get things done.
• Honor process as much as product (honor how you do things as much as what you do or produce).
• Make sure that credit is given to all who participate in an effort, not just the leaders or most public person. Make sure that when you are given credit, you distribute it to all those who helped you with whatever was accomplished.
• Create collective accountability (rather than individual accountability).
• Create a culture where people feel they can bring problems to the group. Use meetings as a place to solve problems, not just a place to report activities.
• Hold ourselves accountable to the principle of collective thinking and action.
• Develop the ability to collaborate and delegate to others.
• In workspaces or movement efforts, evaluate performance based on an ability to work as part of a team to accomplish shared goals.
• Hold ourselves and each other accountable to a shared definition of leadership that assumes a collaborative and collective approach.
• Hold ourselves and leaders accountable for mistakes without assuming that we need to be perfect to lead. Develop collaborative and collective strategies for how to respond to mistakes that encourage learning from the mistakes, appropriate boundary setting, and restorative approaches.
• Realize that leadership is dynamic and does not rest in one individual. We are called upon to lead at different times in different circumstances and called upon to follow or take a back seat when we are learning or making room for new leadership to emerge.

* Our investigation of white supremacy culture and antidotes began based on Tema Oken’s original article on the topic. Going forward, we’ll leverage the additional information in her updated article (May 2021) where possible. Regarding this month, note that the characteristics of I’m the only one and Individualism (which we did last month) were still described separately in the new article, but their antidotes were listed all together because of how intertwined they are. So, some of the antidotes may look familiar for those that participated last month.

This month we will continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with INDIVIDUALISM and its antidotes (described at the end of the email). There will be time for discussion about this aspect of white supremacy culture, how it feels in our bodies, and how it manifests in our societal norms.

In addition, we will discuss the following questions in breakout groups:
• How has individualism shown up in your life and world this month? As you think about the ways that individualism has shown up for you – or about the idea of individualism in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to individualism (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?
Think about individuals (including yourself) and organizations where you see individualism manifesting, including how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or in your other community, faith or civic groups.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

Warmly,

Beilah, Ben, Valerie, Sherry, Virginia, and Alex (via Gina)

*****
Individualism in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Oken):
• Little experience or comfort working as part of a team
• People believe they are responsible for solving problems alone
• Accountability, if any, goes up and down, not sideways to peers or to those the Organization is set up to serve
• Desire for individual recognition and credit
• Leads to isolation
• Competition more highly valued than cooperation and where cooperation is valued, little Time or resources devoted to developing skills in how to cooperate
• Creates a lack of accountability, as the organization values those who can get things Done on their own without needing supervision or guidance

Antidotes to Individualism:
• Include teamwork as an important value in your values statement
• Make sure the organization is working towards shared goals and people understand how working together will improve performance
• Evaluate people’s ability to work in a team as well as their ability to get the job done
• Make sure that credit is given to all those who participate in an effort, not just the leaders or most public person
• Make people accountable as a group rather than as individuals
• Create a culture where people bring problems to the group
• Use staff meetings as a place to solve problems, not just a place to report activities

This month we will continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with FEAR OF OPEN CONFLICT and its antidotes (described at the end of the email). There will be time for discussion about this aspect of white supremacy culture, how it feels in our bodies, and how it manifests in our societal norms.

In addition, we will discuss the following questions in breakout groups:
• How has fear of open conflict shown up in your life and world this month? As you think about the ways that fear of open conflict has shown up for you – or about the idea of fear of open conflict in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to fear of open conflict (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

Think about individuals (including yourself) and organizations where you see fear of open conflict manifesting, including how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or in your other community, faith or civic groups.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

*****

Fear of open conflict in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Oken):
• People in power are afraid of expressed conflict and try to ignore it or run from it
• When someone raises an issue that causes discomfort, the response is to blame the person for raising the issue rather than to look at the issue which is causing the problem
• Emphasis on being polite at the surface (while often deeply offensive to those who have a beef with you or your organization)
• Insisting on politeness as terms for conversation or negotiation (i.e., requiring people to “check” their anger, particularly when it is a logical response to what is happening)
• Equating the raising of difficult issues with being impolite, rude, or out of line

Antidotes to Fear of open conflict:
• Role play ways to handle conflict before conflict happens
• Distinguish between being polite and raising hard issues
• Don’t require those who raise hard issues to raise them in ‘acceptable’ ways, especially if you are using the ways in which issues are raised as an excuse not to address those issues
• Once a conflict is resolved, take the opportunity to revisit it and see how it might have been handled differently

When we meet on 10/17, we will begin our time together by sensing in our bodies, as we meditate on the tenacity and resilience of the Indigenous people of this land and how they have resisted land theft, oppression and genocide at the hands of white settlers. We invite you to research the land you have settled on and the tribes that have protected these lands and waters for thousands of years at this website: native-land.ca. There will be links to more information about the tribes that are listed. As you do your research, be aware of whether the website you are sent to has been created by Indigenous people, or not.

After our practice, we will continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with POWER HOARDING and its antidotes (described at the end of the email). We are especially interested in how the history of white people on native land is a concrete example of power hoarding. There will be time for discussion about this aspect of white supremacy culture, how it feels in our bodies and how it manifests in our societal norms.

In addition, we will discuss the following questions in breakout groups:

• How has power hoarding shown up in your life and world this month? As you think about the ways that power hoarding has shown up for you – or about the idea of power hoarding in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to power hoarding (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

Think about individuals (including yourself) and organizations where you see power hoarding manifesting, including how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or in your other community, faith or civic groups.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness.  Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center.  We look forward to seeing you there!

*****

Power Hoarding in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Oken):

• Little, if any, value around sharing power
• Power seen as limited, only so much to go around
• Those with power feel threatened when anyone suggests changes in how things should be done in the organization, feel suggestions for change are a reflection on their leadership
• Those with power don’t see themselves as hoarding power or as feeling threatened
• Those with power assume they have the best interests of the organization at heart and assume those wanting change are ill-informed (stupid), emotional, inexperienced

Antidotes to Power Hoarding:

• Include power sharing in your organization’s values statement
• Discuss what good leadership looks like and make sure people understand that a good leader develops the power and skills of others
• Understand that change is inevitable and challenges to your leadership can be healthy and productive
• Make sure the organization is focused on the mission

This month, we’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with EITHER/OR THINKING and its antidotes (described below). In breakout groups, we will discuss the following questions:

• How has either/or thinking shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways that  either/or thinking has shown up for you – or about the idea of either/or thinking in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to either/or thinking (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

If you are not working in an organization to apply these definitions, substitute “my internal conditioning” for organizational structure. Or think about how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or your other community, faith or civic groups.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. This month, Alex will again lead us in a short session of embodied InterPlay exercises, and as usual, participation is optional. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness.  Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) in our beloved Center.  We look forward to seeing you there!

*****

Either/or Thinking in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Okun):

• things are either/or — good/bad, right/wrong, with us/against us
• closely linked to perfectionism in making it difficult to learn from mistakes or accommodate conflict
• no sense that things can be both/and
• results in trying to simplify complex things, for example believing that poverty is simply a result of lack of education
• creates conflict and increases sense of urgency, as people feel they must make decisions to do either this or that, with no time or encouragement to consider alternatives, particularly those which may require more time or resources
• often used by those with a clear agenda or goal to push those who are still thinking or reflecting to make a choice between ‘a’ or ‘b’ without acknowledging a need for time and creativity to come up with more options

Antidotes to Either/or Thinking:

• notice when people use ‘either/or’ language and push to come up with more than two alternatives
• notice when people are simplifying complex issues, particularly when the stakes seem high or an urgent decision needs to be made
• slow it down and encourage people to do a deeper analysis
• when people are faced with an urgent decision, take a break and give people some breathing room to think creatively
• avoid (when possible) making decisions under extreme pressure

Hi All,

The next monthly Zoom meeting of CIMC’s White Awake sangha will be held Sunday, August 8^th from 5-7 PM (permanent zoom link here).

This month, we’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with PATERNALISM and its antidotes (described below). In breakout groups, we will discuss the following questions:

• How has paternalism shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways that paternalism has shown up for you – or about the idea of paternalism in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to paternalism (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

If you are not working in an organization to apply these definitions, substitute “my internal conditioning” for organizational structure. Or think about how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or your other community, faith or civic groups.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. This month, Alex will again lead us in a short session of embodied InterPlay exercises, and as usual, participation is optional. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

Warmly,

Beilah, Ben, Valerie, Sherry, Virginia, and Alex (via Gina)

*****

Paternalism in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Okun):

• Decision-making is clear to those with power and unclear to those without it.
• Those with power assume they are capable of making decisions for and in the interests of those without power.
• Those with power often don’t think it is important or necessary to understand the viewpoint or experience of those for whom they are making decisions.
• Those without power do not really know how decisions get made and who makes what decisions, and yet they are completely familiar with the impact of those decisions on them.

Antidotes to paternalism:

• Make sure that everyone knows and understands who makes what decisions in the organization.
• Make sure everyone knows and understands their level of responsibility and authority in the organization.
• Include people who are affected by decisions in the decision-making.
• Make sure everyone understands the budget (because if you understand the budget, you understand a lot).

This month, we’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with the belief there is only ONE RIGHT WAY to do things and its antidotes (described below). In breakout groups, we will discuss the following questions:

• How has believing in only one right way shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways only one right way has shown up for you – or about the idea of only one right way in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to believing in only one right way (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

If you are not working in an organization to apply these definitions, substitute “my internal conditioning” for organizational structure. Or think about how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or your other community, faith or civic groups.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

*****

Only one right way in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Okun):

• The belief there is one right way to do things and once people are introduced to the right way, they will see the light and adopt it
• When they do not adapt or change, then something is wrong with them (the other, those not changing), not with us (those who ‘know’ the right way)
• Similar to the missionary who does not see value in the culture of other communities, sees only value in their beliefs about what is good

Antidotes to only one right way:

• Accept that there are many ways to get to the same goal.
• Once the group has made a decision about which way will be taken, honor that decision and see what you and the organization will learn from taking that way, even and especially if it is not the way you would have chosen.
• Work on developing the ability to notice when people do things differently and how those different ways might improve your approach.
• Look for the tendency for a group or a person to keep pushing the same point over and over out of a belief that there is only one right way and then name it.
• When working with communities from a different culture than yours or your organization’s, be clear that you have some learning to do about the communities’ ways of doing.
• Never assume that you or your organization knows what’s best for the community in isolation from meaningful relationships with that community.

This month, we’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with WORSHIP OF THE WRITTEN WORD and its antidotes (described below). In breakout groups, we will discuss the following questions:

• How has worship of the written word shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways worship of the written word has shown up for you – or about worship of the written word in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to worship of the written word (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. And this month, White Awake Sangha member Alex Baskin will lead us in InterPlay practice. InterPlay uses creative, active approaches for unlocking the wisdom of the body. A portion of our time will be spent with these guided forms of movement and breath. All are invited to participate in InterPlay practice at their comfort level.

Everyone is welcome at the WA sangha, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

*****
Note: If you are not working in an organization to apply these definitions, substitute “my internal conditioning” for organizational structure. Or think about how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or your other community, faith or civic groups.

Worship of the written word in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Okun):

• If it’s not in a memo, it doesn’t exist
• The organization does not value other ways in which information gets shared
• Those with strong documentation and writing skills are more highly valued, even in organizations where ability to relate to others is key to the mission

Antidotes to worship of the written word:

• Take the time to analyze how people inside and outside the organization get and share information
• Figure out which things need to be written down and come up with alternative ways to document what is happening
• Work to recognize the contributions and skills that every person brings to the organization (for example, the ability to build relationships with those who are important to the organization’s mission)
• Make sure anything written can be clearly understood (avoid academic language, ‘buzz’ words, etc.)

This month, we’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with valuing QUANTITY OVER QUALITY and its antidotes (described below). In breakout groups, we will discuss the following questions:

• How has valuing quantity over quality shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways valuing quantity over quality has shown up for you – or about valuing quantity over quality in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to valuing quantity over quality (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

Note: If you are not working in an organization to apply these definitions, substitute “my internal conditioning” for organizational structure. Or think about how you see these characteristics at CIMC, or your other community, faith or civic groups.

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

***********

Valuing Quantity over quality in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Okun):

• All resources of organization are directed toward producing measurable goals
• Things that can be measured are more highly valued than things that cannot, for example numbers of people attending a meeting, newsletter circulation, money spent are valued more than quality of relationships, democratic decision-making, ability to constructively deal with conflict
• Little or no value attached to process; if it can’t be measured, it has no value
• Discomfort with emotion and feelings
• No understanding that when there is a conflict between content (the agenda of the meeting) and process (people’s need to be heard or engaged), process will prevail (for example, you may get through the agenda, but if you haven’t paid attention to people’s need to be heard, the decisions made at the meeting are undermined and/or disregarded)

Antidotes to valuing quantity over quality:

• Include process or quality goals in your planning
• Make sure your organization has a values statement which expresses the ways in which you want to do your work
• Make sure this is a living document and that people are using it in their day to day work
• Look for ways to measure process goals (for example if you have a goal of inclusivity, think about ways you can measure whether or not you have achieved that goal)
• Learn to recognize those times when you need to get off the agenda in order to address people’s underlying concerns

INFO AND RESOURCES FOR APRIL 11th MEETING

This month, we’ll use our time together to honor and mourn those murdered in Atlanta, and to explore our embodied responses to the recent surge of anti-Asian violence and Mel Cherng’s letter to the CIMC leadership. We’ll also reflect on our own relationships (as white Buddhists) to Asian and Asian American individuals and communities, and to the Asian lineages that have preserved Buddhist practices over the centuries.

To prepare for our time together, please read the following prompts and reflect on one or two that feel alive for you over the next couple of weeks:

1. Explore the bodily sensations, emotions, and thoughts that have arisen in response to the March 16th shooting deaths of 6 Asian-American women and 2 non-Asian people in Georgia.
2. What do you know about: The Asian lineages from which your practice(s) is (are) derived? Asian American Buddhist communities? The Asian American community at CIMC? You might take some time to investigate these communities. What, if any, is your relationship to these communities? What sensations arise with these contemplations?
3. Attend to the sensations, feelings, images, or ideas that arise when you reflect on the fact that Asian cultures birthed, raised, protected, and cultivated Buddhist teachings and practices, long before there were “white” Buddhists.
4. What sensations arise when you contemplate or engage in devotional or merit-making practices?

Please also spend some time with the following resources:

https://tricycle.org/trikedaily/asian-american-erasure-buddhism/
https://tricycle.org/podcast/japanese-buddhism-internment/
https://www.lionsroar.com/weve-been-here-all-along/
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/04/05/5-facts-about-buddhists-around-the-world/
https://www.pewforum.org/2012/07/19/asian-americans-a-mosaic-of-faiths-overview/

Additionally, we’d also recommend listening to this episode of the podcast Code Switch in which the hosts interviewed Connie Wun, an organizer at AAPI Women Lead, a group serving AAPI survivors of violence against women, gender non-conforming people and girls. This will be helpful in diving deeper into the larger historical and systemic context in which violence against Asian-Americans in the US is happening.

INFO AND RESOURCES FOR MARCH 14th MEETING

This month, we’ll continue our year-long investigation of white supremacy culture, working in an embodied way with defensiveness and its antidotes (described below). In breakout groups, we will discuss the following questions, which many of you will get to explore a second time:

• How has defensiveness shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways defensiveness has shown up for you – or about defensiveness in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to defensiveness (as shown below) to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

*****

Defensiveness in white supremacy culture (as described by Tema Okun):

• The organizational structure is set up and much energy spent trying to prevent  abuse and protect power as it exists rather than to facilitate the best out of  each person or to clarify who has power and how they are expected to use it
• Because of either/or thinking (see below), criticism of those with power is  viewed as threatening and inappropriate (or rude)
• People respond to new or challenging ideas with defensiveness, making it  very difficult to raise these ideas
• A lot of energy in the organization is spent trying to make sure that people’s  feelings aren’t getting hurt or working around defensive people • white people spend energy defending against charges of racism instead of  examining how racism is actually happening
• Leaders perceive calls for change as personal attacks (because if they were  leading in the “right” way, then nothing would need to change); their defensiveness creates an oppressive culture where people feel they cannot  make suggestions or when they do, these are ignored

Antidotes to Defensiveness:

• understand that structure cannot in and of itself facilitate or prevent abuse
• understand the link between defensiveness and fear (of losing power, losing face, losing comfort, losing privilege)
• work on your own defensiveness
• name defensiveness as a problem when it is one
• give people credit for being able to handle more than you think
• discuss the ways in which defensiveness or resistance to new ideas gets in the way of the mission
• support yourself and others to avoid taking things personally

• How has urgency shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways perfectionism has shown up for you – or about perfectionism in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to urgency to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

INFO AND RESOURCES FOR JANUARY 10th MEETING

• How has perfectionism shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways perfectionism has shown up for you – or about perfectionism in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to perfectionism* to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

Addendum (1/11):

After the events of Wednesday, January 6, we decided to pivot from using our first breakout group to explore perfectionism and claim some space for embodied anti-racist practice time to register our physical responses to Wednesday’s attack on the Capitol.

The prework for today’s White Awake Sangha is to listen to this Minnesota Public Radio news program hosted by Angela Davis with guests Resmaa Menakem, BraVada Garrett-Akinsanya, and Qorsho Hassa.

The prompts for the first breakout room will be as follows:

• Recall the images and sounds of a predominantly white angry mob storming the Capitol in support to Trump’s attempts to overturn the election.
• Notice if the muscles are relaxed or tight, the quality of the breath, deep or shallow? What’s the heart rate like, has it sped up, slowed down or stayed the same?
• You may experience sensations, impulses, emotions or images in your body. If you did, please describe them.
• Or you may not feel anything. If so, what does this lack of feeling feel like… numbness, blankness, perhaps like you’re not quite in your body?
• Notice if you have the impulse to fight, flee or freeze? Or if you want to shut down and override what you’re experiencing?
• Is there a movement or sound your body would like to make that might help you discharge some of the unwanted energy? Please explore this movement or make this sound.
• Notice any felt shift in your body. Do you still feel like you did at the beginning, or did something in you settle or become more present?

• How has perfectionism shown up in your life this month? As you think about the ways perfectionism has shown up for you – or about perfectionism in general – what bodily sensations, emotions, or images arise?
• How would you apply the antidotes to perfectionism* to the contexts that came to mind in response to the first question? What other opportunities to apply these antidotes exist in your life?

As usual, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks, breakout groups, and opportunities for open discussion. All are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. Our goal is to build community as well as resilience, capacity, and commitment for the work of fighting systemic oppression in our hearts, communities, and (most especially) our beloved Center. We look forward to seeing you there!

*antidotes to perfectionism: develop a culture of appreciation, where the organization takes time to make sure that people’s work and efforts are appreciated; develop a learning organization, where it is expected that everyone will make mistakes and those mistakes offer opportunities for learning; create an environment where people can recognize that mistakes sometimes lead to positive results; separate the person from the mistake; when offering feedback, always speak to the things that went well before offering criticism; ask people to offer specific suggestions for how to do things differently when offering criticism; realize that being your own worst critic does not actually improve the work, often contributes to low morale among the group, and does not help you or the group to realize the benefit of learning from mistakes

INFO AND RESOURCES FOR NOVEMBER 8th MEETING

Our RESOURCE is the letter from the Sangha Life Committee about upcoming Sangha Circle meetings starting in January 2021. Please read before Sunday.

In light of the SL Committee’s work to help create a multicultural CIMC, we come to you with a question: how do we create warm, embodied culture within the White Awake Sangha (WAS)? What work do we want to do among ourselves?

We’re listening to Resmaa Menakem:
“We will not end white-body supremacy- or any other form of human evil- by trying to tear it to pieces. Instead, we can offer people better ways to belong, and better things to belong to. Instead of belonging to a race, we can belong to a culture. Each of us can also build our own capacity for genuine belonging.”

It’s both/and work. We do the internal work within WAS, and participate in the Sangha Life Circles to learn and listen for what’s needed to build a genuine welcoming culture at CIMC. But we have to begin the work within WAS.

Our framework is the same: meet in community for two hours, with breaks, meditate, connect in small breakout groups and in the larger group, review where our hearts are in this moment and set intentions for our individual work of uprooting racism and the work of building community at CIMC.

INFO AND RESOURCES FOR OCTOBER 11th MEETING

This month’s topic: what is action?

• Other than supporting (allying with) BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and People of Color*) what is the work of white people? What actions should we initiate-what actions are we responsible for? *There are pros/cons with this acronym that the article linked to discusses however the term is current in equity/inclusion work.
• At this moment in time, white people hear conflicting messages about what they should do, but how do we discover and do our work?

And because Tema Okun is a white woman who’s been doing this work for decades, prior to Sunday, please listen to this interview with her on the Finding Refuge podcast with Michelle Johnson.

INFO AND RESOURCES FOR SEPTEMBER 13th MEETING

This month, we’ll examine white supremacy culture, and what goes into building anti-white supremacy culture.
To make the best use of our time together, we’ve asked you to please download and read Tema Okun’s article on the characteristics of white supremacy culture. IN ADDITION, please listen to this podcast in which Dan Harris interviews Resmaa Menakem (1 hour 18 minutes), and read Lyla June’s essay “The Vast and Beautiful World of Indigenous Europe”.

Just like last month, we’ll meet for two hours, with breaks. We’ll sit together; check-in about how race, racism, and whiteness have been in our awareness recently; connect about the personal challenges we face in confronting white supremacy; and set intentions for our individual work of uprooting racism and systemic oppression. As always, all are invited, regardless of their level of experience investigating race and whiteness. We look forward to seeing you there!